How do you balance your time and not push yourself too hard?

[EveHarrington]

How do you balance your time and not push yourself too hard?

I do too much and then crash.

I push myself too hard and end up in a bad place because I’ve depleted my resources.

I don’t know how to balance my time well.

I am wondering how other people manage their limited energy resources so that they can function without all of these crashes.

Thank you.

 

[MyWillow]

Hmmmm....I am sooooo a work in progress lol. I crash a lot but I’m just really good at hiding it.

Plus I’m still healing from a couple of injuries which really frustrates me. Sometimes the pain leaves me no choice but enforced rest. I have been go, go, go for as long as I can remember.

My T works on this with me in every session because I am super crap at the whole self care thing. I mean WTAF is that? A few weeks back she wrote my To Do list of responsibilities (work, volunteer, home etc) on a white board and I felt physically ill looking at it.

One thing I would like to start doing is blocking out my online calendar for me time. Because otherwise it just fills up.

We’ve identified things that do me good and I try to schedule something once a week...like... drink tea/eat at a local cafe on my own, do a jigsaw puzzle (app or real), wander around a garden or native nursery, take my walk loving dog for a walk in the forest (the other dogs prefer training and running), curling up in bed or on the deck or on the couch with the dogs/cats, treatment at the local Day Spa, reading a book (bizarrely, as a total book worm, that one I’m really struggling with and is my goal for this holiday).

The TS yoga I find really challenging but I do schedule that as a “must do” when it’s running. Currently I am trying to sit on my mat and notice without judgement once or twice a day. And to not judge when my brain flies off in 3 different directions. And to not judge when I can’t bring myself to even sit for a few minutes.

The other thing is - with all my medical appointments for rehabbing my injuries - I would always attend everything. For a while there I had weekly Pilates and Physio for my shoulder, OT specialist for my hand, GP (referrals etc) and my Psychologist. Push her to deal with whatever the hell was going on in my head. Dissociate and flashback through the session. Forget most of it. And then crash. Oh and working a very demanding job on top of that. And trying to write up my PhD. Last week I actually cancelled Pilates so I wasn’t racing straight from there to see my T. It was such a small thing to do but it felt absolutely revolutionary.

Small steps. And record keeping. Just like dog training I’ve decided :) Easier said than done because I’ve done it for my dogs but not for me!

P.S. My T totally uses my patience and kindness towards my dogs as an example of how I should be treating myself. She’s annoyingly smart sometimes ;)

P.P.S. Hang in there @EveHarrington

 

[MyWillow]

One other thing. I like and respect my T as one professional to another. I figure that she’s not telling me to do all this stuff and take more time out just for kicks. I’m on 2 weeks holiday leave from work. First decent break in 2 years and that is ONLY because my T just kept gently asking if I’d booked a break yet. I think she’s be happier if I’d gone on my promised road trip with the dogs to a beach house and happier still if my partner had come with me. But as it is he has some great work opportunities and I felt like curling up at home so this is a compromise. It feels very, very indulgent and I’m booking nothing in except the day before. So tomorrow I’m taking my dogs training and invited my puppy people to come if they’d like. I know it’s the least pressure for me in terms of social engagement so it’s ok if it spills over into a beer and dinner. They are super nice (yes see your other thread about nice people!!! Good exposure therapy) and I love seeing what beautiful care they take of the pup I bred.

 

[Rani G2]

not push yourself too hard?

If the direction is "Doing things that need to be done" like housework. I work with a timer. 1 hour for household. 1 hour for bank etc..

The Doing too much, could be either wanting to control, suppress/ distraction tactics...( I know/ have had/ still Do at times but not so strongly)

To Do all these selfsoothing / selfcare stuff one probably needs to realize, ( The one who is yet not agreeing with it) That she is worth enough to Do so. She needs NO approval from the outer.

how other people manage their limited energy resources so that they can function without all of these crashes

I am not good in this selfcompassion/ selflove thing as I cannot grasp that properly. What I can say is that when I do sport/ yoga / eat well I can keep that energy level

 

[MyWillow]

Yes I do these things because I talk about doing them with my T. Give a perfectionist homework and she doesn’t care about why ;) Hopefully one day it will be my normal.

 

[intothelight]

This is a huge area I struggle with too, as I can never seem to find balance. I do best with block scheduling time and then quitting when the time is up, but it is only successful if I don't exhaust myself trying to make sure I get EVERYTHING done within the allotted time. Great topic.

 

[Friday]

By pushing myself too hard, so that I can find the edge of my own limits. Trial & error.