How do you come to terms with the things you did?

[Gs172003]

Repentance doesn’t mean saying you’re sorry.

Repentance means living differently.

It’s a helluv...

^ this x 20,000

 

[EveHarrington]

Move forward.

Change your life.

Stop raking yourself over the coals for your past behavior.

 

[ILoveLife]

Move forward.

Easier said than done, Eve.
Rationally we know that's the step to take, but shame and guilt are too very powerful emotions. In order to get unstuck from them it takes time and patience, and a lot of therapy :confused:

 

[blackemerald1]

@MatthewO1987 - none of us here know what horrible things you have actually done.

Further, PTSD is not a reason to do horrible things to other people or domestic partners. It is just not.

We cannot give you permission to do anything. We cannot tell you it is okay for you to contact an ex-partner (or anyone) that you have done truly horrible (your word) - things to and contact her against her wishes. (And potentially expose you to legal action if she has told you to leave her alone and you ignore her and do contact her). :oops:

You are totally responsible for your behaviour regardless of a diagnosis of PTSD. We all are responsible for how we behave.

Obviously your councillor will know more than us on this forum.

shame and guilt are too very powerful emotions. In order to get unstuck from them it takes time and patience, and a lot of therapy :confused:

^^^This exactly. Take your focus off what your ex (and other's) think and back on getting well and staying stable. You are young, you have a lot of life yet to live. Opportunities abound if you are willing to work on your recovery.

I wish you much luck and hope your persist with your therapy and treatment. :)

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @MatthewO1987 .. I think that's sometimes before we have a better understanding of ptsd.. We do things but we don't understand why.... Like for me I was at a concert and it was packed and the women in front of me.. Her hair kept on going near me and my mouth.... Now at the time I went mental.. Screaming at her.. Nearly getting thrown out.. I didn't understand my reaction... But now I know why. Or the time I told a child at friends birthday party... He was a little shit... He was cheeky and used a word that triggered me... But at the time... No understanding of my behaviour.

I think that it's up to you what you do... And sometimes our behaviour is because of a trigger. The fact that you are self aware now is amazing... Some people never admit when they f*ck up.....

 

[somerandomguy]

Stop raking yourself over the coals for your past behavior.

How?

 

[scout86]

I'd just like to mention that sometimes things that we think were "horrible" weren't. Sometimes our perspective on things just isn't that accurate. It seems horrible to US. It might have gone kind of unnoticed by others. There's no way for us to know, without more information, but it might help to talk it over with someone like a T who has more of the facts and has an objective perspective.

 

[Mach123]

Well ... some days are better than others.