How Do You Cope With People Not Wanting To Be Involved With You Because Of Your Ptsd?

[AqueousAndroid]

It scares me that people might not be interested in being involved with me because of the fact that something happened in my life that was completely out of my control, and the result of that was mental illness. It's unfair!

I can't imagine I am the only person who feels this way. How do you cope?

 

[Caterpillar]

I've had some people turn away from me because of my mental problems, but it's been my experience that for every person who chooses not to be involved with me because of my problems there will be another person who reaches out because they have depression or trauma or some other brain cootie too. That's one reason I'm very open about my diagnoses and problems. Most of my friends are people who've come to me privately after my open announcements of issues to say that they have problems too.

 

[desiderata310]

I'm sorry: brain cootie just made me laugh!
To answer the original question, yes. I worry about it all the time. My best friend loves me regardless of it. The rest of the world need not know.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

If people chose to turn away from me then that is their choice. Before diagnosis I would worry what people thought of me and I would adapt to them.

Nope, not any more. I am what my abusers made me. Stronger than petty minded people who only see skin deep.

Yes I have mental Health Issues and yes I was abused. I do not hide behind the 'happy' mask all the time any-more and people can take me as I am (ME) or ignore me.

I feel I am a better person for this attitude now and can safely say that the people I chose to have around me as friends are just that, Real Friends.

Laurie *apologies for curt response*

 

[Alfred.Greene]

As a child I was taught to have empathy for people and treat them the way I would want to be treated.

I should be the person I want to be.

I hide a lot of who I am, and make many of my "deep" parts of personality seem "normal". So most people just mistake me for a "normal" person.

I spend, have spent, will spend, many hours considering who I want as a friend. If I have PTSD, and triggers, then I simply want to know they will be there regardless. I chose my friends on that basis, and on the good I can see in them.

I don't always tell them/show them I have PTSD, and I learn to control it well.

If someone approaches me with a consideration of friendship, I let the moment continue, and carry on. If I don't like them, and I know I don't want them in my life, I do my best to be polite but let them know. One time I was so bold as to show my middle finger. She doesn't talk to me anymore and that pleases me. As rude as that might be, she really was a hollow person.

Be selective, pick your battles, and remember if you don't have a deity(mine is God), then you're you own best company.
Distraction is the key to the pain until you can find a community of people.

 

[Lionheart]

If people have shunned me because I have PTSD and Depression I am not aware of it. I have 3 family members with PTSD and several friends that have it, as well Depression. Some have Aspergers, some have bi-polar disorder, some have borderline personality disorder, and I have a younger brother with schizophrenia.

I can't imagine turning my back on any of them and if someone doesn't want to take the time to get to know me then I figure it is their loss. I care what other people think of me but only a little. It is more important what I think and know to be true about myself and that is that I am a good person who has a psychological injury through no fault of my own.

 

[Meadowsweet]

@Santa_Laurie , I liked your reply, it shows a determined attitude.

@AqueousAndroid , I struggle with this a lot. It's not simply that people might not want to know me if they know about it all, it is the assumptions that people could make that scare me. It's like, people rarely are just honest about their prejudices, they will justify themselves with ideas that the person with PTSD or who has been through trauma is somehow a bad person. That scares me. So I'm really not the person to give advice on how to cope with, but thanks for writing the thread, I hope I can take from the replies you get.

 

[Laura 2]

I've lost count of the family members and friends who've turned their backs on me. Most people have eventually shown their lack of willingness to understand at some point or other. But then, the stalking has gone on for years and the constant stress of it all round just destroys every relationship eventually.

95% of the time, I pretend I'm ok. I just don't bother to tell anyone about any of it. I don't bother to reach out to people who perhaps could be friends because I've rather given up due to all the bad experiences. The last person I thought could become a friend turned out to have a serious alcohol problem on top of a range of prescription drugs and in denial about all her substance abuse. Such a combination engenders a heap of illogical thinking and lack of insight. I had great sympathy for her but couldn't handle her very distorted views of the world.

So I sort of pre-empt the situation you fear, @AqueousAndroid, simply by withdrawing almost entirely from seeking new friends/involvements.

 

[Tanishq]

AqueousAndroid, it has happened to me as well. So many times, but later I found they weren't good in their life either. It's not good to judge someone else when they have issues. Everyone has problems, if someone has different kind of problems doesn't mean people should leave them behind. It's hard to find people who would like to talk with you despite of your PTSD. Everyone needs help, Everyone deserves help.

When people tell me you are problematic, I immidiately back off. It tells about them more than us. It tells about them how they deal with people and concerns in their life.

I do understand some people have strength to listen you, some may not have. I believe people should give everyone a chance to talk rather than labeling them as ptsd person.

Kind hugs if someone disheartened you. :hug:

 

[Philippa]

It may not be the best way to cope but I don't get involved with people! :D

I haven't had a relationship for a few years now and feel like now that I am a bit more recovered and healed I can open myself up to someone again, but for years I just didn't get involved. I hardly even went out or wanted to make friends.

I do have a supportive bunch around me now, and have eliminated the ones who aren't, so that is one way, but you really won't know unless you make it known. Peoples reactions will tell you whether they are worthy of being in your life.

 

[Caterpillar]

Peoples reactions will tell you whether they are worthy of being in your life.

Yup. This is why I'm so open with my issues. It's not really bravery; it's laziness. I don't have spare energy to invest in forming relationship with people who aren't worth it.

 

[Philippa]

I'm exactly the same. Why f*ck around. Finding out sooner rather than later is better, in my opinion.