Poll How Do You Cry?

[Muzikluvr]

I cry very quietly if people are around, my eyes just start leaking. I cover my mouth because when I was a kid my mom and brother pointed and laughed at me when I cried. Then they made me hold my face in that position and go look in the mirror. I couldn't cry like that at all anymore without laughing, until I met my husband and he said "Let me see." and I did and he said, "It doesn't look funny to me at all. It looks like you're in a lot of pain." and he hugged me. Now I don't laugh at myself for crying anymore.

If I'm alone, I wail! Oh, I scream! I punch pillows! :geek: I really let the dogs suffer right along with me. ;) I started that when my youngest went to kindergarten and I was finally alone. I worked out a lot of insanity during the school days.

 

[Bordo66]

When I cry I try to cry as silent as possible, but I let the tears flow. With every tear that flows I get a feeling that a bad part of myself leaves.

 

[bittersweet]

I cry silently. I know this probably sounds contradictory but I don't see a person being weak if they cry but at the same time my reason for crying silently is to not let other's know I am emotionally vulnerable. Directly after my trauma I found a corner and faced the wall curled into a ball silently crying. I felt I would be hurt more if I was heard. I always fight it until I can go somewhere where no one can see or hear me before I let myself cry and even then it is always silent. I also cry silently so that I don't wake my husband at night or have him get upset because I'm upset (he feels that I shouldn't suffer alone and that hopefully by sharing the pain it eases a bit off me). He worries about me all the time and I would hate to make him worry all because a nightmare or flashback came to haunt me.

 

[Lionheart]

Most of the time, I cry silently as crying out loud got me punished as a child. I don't cry very often anymore, but there was a time I could have filled a riverbed with my tears...so glad that is over, ...at least for now.:unsure:

 

[incongruent]

I cry silently. I wasn't punished as a child for crying- but I learned early on that my pain didn't matter. My family already had too many fights/issues going on to notice that I was missing, or crying, or anything. but then again- I'm also the type of person who laughs when i'm in pain. I knocked my knee cap out over 2 inches one summer, and sat on the floor hysterically laughing, shoved myself up- and walked on it for a few hours before it blew up to the size of a watermelon.

 

[cat]

A little easier now, although never in front of other people, not even my T.

 

[njray]

"one tear with long streak at a time..."

 

[AngelaMarie]

I have started to cry so hard that I can't breath. I feel like years of emotions are coming out in my tears.
I do it when my boys are gone so they do not have trauma.
I am starting to realize that crying for me isn't bad. It's part of my healing.

 

[hazen]

It is hard for me to cry. My T at my last session asked if I could bring in a pic of myself as a child to my next session and this made me want to cry... I could feel the sadness welling up inside. But something always stops me.

Once when I was a child my father struck me on the head rather hard in public in front of a line of people. I remember crying and watching the people stare at me, and I felt so ashamed (even though, as my wife and T point out, its was my father who should have felt the shame).

Also, I was punished for crying too much as a child.

It is near impossible for me to cry in front of anyone. I hate it really... I am sure that society's views on men showing emotion or crying doesn't help me either.

When I cry it is a loud, choked-back sob. But dammit at least it is getting out somehow.

 

[Sqweak]

I've been known for crying, which is a terrible thing to have people recognize you for but it just has been a part of who I am. When I was a child, I was tormented a lot in school and I cried a lot then. I realized that they tormented me for crying but the louder I cried the more attention it garnered from adults so it was inevitable that someone would have to come see what the problem was. I would cry hard and I would cry loud! It was like playing possum for me, possums play dead to protect themselves and I cried and dry heaved into exhaustion to escape any situation I was caught in. It freaked people out and they would never bother me again (at least for a while). I didn't care if I looked crazy, if my eyes were blood shot and I had snot running down my face in my hair ... couldn't care! Because I knew that the likely hood of you messing with me again was slim.

Now that I’m older I don't do that, lol. Though in high school it would be my first reaction was to burst into tears, sense I had been doing it for so long. It’s such a natural reaction to a point that I actually can't control it anymore. I used to hide in the bathroom and cry until I felt nothing. It's emotional purging for me. Sometimes I catch myself crying if I’m thinking too deeply. Tears will stream down my face as I’m walking down the street and I just tell people its allergies. I realized if I don't cry it gives me a migraine, most people bottle up their emotion until they collapse of a stroke, so I guess you can say that crying silently or loudly by myself or tucked away on a crowded bus is my way of keeping myself alive.

 

[AngelaMarie]

(((hazen)))
Only a real man can cry!! That's the way I look at it. You should be darn proud you are able to get it out now:tup:

I have seen people hit their children in public or scream at them. I always want to throttle them!:mad:

If the child saw me looking at them it would only be because I wanted to protect them and give them a hug. Shame on your father!!

 

[Rob_Dog19]

When I'm alone I can sob uncontrollably, and it's really loud...I imagine I sound pretty pathetic...but when I'm around people, I either don't cry or cry silently because when I was a kid, my dad got furious when we cried. Even if something bad happened, he would say that we kids weren't allowed to be angry or sad, and if we cried, he would either tease and humiliate us or hit us.