Poll How Do You Cry?

[JustJane]

yeah, crying at work was the hardest to deal with. I was in a cubicle but had a lot of phone and radio communications. People detect such things in your voice and then your work gets harder because they call to find out if I have a cold - or something else.

 

[xxarmywifexx]

Anymore, I cry silently. I don't want my children or my husband to hear me do so.

 

[FightingLily]

For a long time, I couldn't cry. As a victim of domestic abuse, crying only made the beatings worse, as I was only trying to get attention... The 3 years after the most severe trauma, I could not cry, not even during a tear jerker movie. I was emotionally numb, shut off.

Nowadays, since beginning therapy 8-9 months ago, in extreme anxiety I will cry silently because I do not want to distress my children and my partner. I cannot function when drawn to tears because it takes a toll on me and doesn't let go, like everything hits me at once, and I'll curl up into a ball and cry for hours. I can't breath when I cry, almost like my throat is being pressed on and my chest feels heavy.. and I can't have an audience, it only makes me feel embarrassed and vulnerable. So I cry alone.

 

[redtriskell]

I learned early and well that crying only excited him. So I stopped. My idiot mother never learned this. Pisser is that now I CAN'T cry, no matter how deeply I feel like doing so. *sigh* red

 

[gentlelady]

I cry silently as i learned to mask my feelings at an early age. There was always the threat if someone knew. Never tell.

 

[Beth]

I used to cry silently. . . .and very very hidden.. . I couldn't cry in front of someone if my life depended on it.

Now - sometimes I cry silently - if I'm trying to control it. . .for some weird reason or another. . .but most the time I sob. I REALLY SOB.

I don't sob in front of anyone, though. . .and I tend to still really try to control it in front of people. . .but I'm finding myself less and less able to do so.

Which, I think is a good thing. I need to lose that self control in THIS aspect. I need to cry.

 

[stephanie]

I rarely cry. If I'm really angry, I'll cry. I cry to keep from becoming violent.

 

[Gravastorm]

From the tempest of mine eyes

I wear my emotions like I wear my skin. Some covered, for decency, but most are revealed. Tears will stream while I rant and rave. My face will be awash when witnessing emotional moments, be it on screen or on the street. I will ball up and sob for (what seems like) an eternity to purge. My eyes teem with audible joy, sorrow and anger. Sounds rather natural, yes?

Here's the thing that is kicking my ass.. In the past few months I will weep at the drop of a hat, literally, a hat falls off the hook in the hall and it rends a squall from my eyes at the utter futility of even trying to keep it in place. This crying is silent and is not natural for me.

 

[dirtgirl42]

started crying last year, not able to stop w/out meds. crazy huh?

 

[jeapea]

I never cried. No one listened anyway... so I just stopped one day. And for most of the years of my life there were no tears. Of happiness, sadness... just... indifference to the world around me. I ached with emotion inside... but... couldn't see any point in showing it on the outside.

The only time the dam broke loose was during Christmas eve communion. Where I could feel accepted for me for a change... and be forgiven for whoever that was. But here's the worst part.... I didn't see the people up there asking for forgiveness who really should have been! Maybe that means they won't be.

 

[TLight]

I'm crying all the time now. In the car, at home alone, crying crying crying. Trying to attempt to get out and meet other people, but my attempts seem to be thwarted.
Drove to a square dance club tonight. No one showed up. I sat in the car for an hour. Stopped at a bar on the way home, hoping to just find someone to chat with and not get preyed upon. Didn't get either. Cried all the way home.

I'm so attractive, smart, 'nice,' ethical and all around a good person and I've been so completely alone for so long. I'm so lonely. It hurts and I cry.

 

[wattle]

I've got several sorts of crying the eyes welling up for any reason going, even no reason, thats silent crying. Then theres the very embaressing public crying if I get panicy, I hate it! My eyes turn into red demon eyes, my face goes bright red and I can't hide it even if I wanted to run away and hide I'm usually frozen to the spot I'm standing on. I've always been a crier, sad movies, my kids in need of stiches or dental work I'm a mess, even now they're grown up. Crying is the worst thing for me, I wish I didn't but I do. Just look at me side ways and I'm crying.