How Do You Disguise Yourself?

[maryiscontrary]

Reading some Joe Navarro tidbits. Really rich stuff.

 

[shimmerz]

I don't go out or I have to go out with someone. Don't like it but that is the way it is right now. I tend to attract attention although I do not mean to as I am tall and have a 'look about me' as I am told. For some time as I was transitioning between being my old self and then my retraumatized self I would wear hoodies, big old clothes etc. lol. I am thinking that drew more attention to me than if I hadn't gone to all of that work.

Shimmerz

 

[Notsowild]

Disguise myself... That would be nice!!! A little hard for me to do though... I'm 5 ft 10 in with red hair and freckles!!! Always wanted to blend into the crowd but no I walk in the room and everyone stares.
HATE THAT!!!

 

[Definitely..maybe]

I'm annoyingly bubbly and polite. My family and friends constantly make fun of me for it (I go to starbucks with them and finish paying and my friend will look at me and say- 'you forgot to ask how her dog was doing today!' Ha ha ha...)

No one would assume I have ptsd, people actually doubt I have it because I am a constant people pleaser and feel guilty if I look mad or upset- so I smile a lot.

Lately I'm less inclined to show off my body so I'm more sweats and a jacket kind of person, but that's more for feeling badly about myself.

I still get told I look like I'm 15 and I still look like a perfect victim. Damn.

 

[billie]

Thats really Interesting I used to be able pull that off at one stage before I truly remembered my life and now is a day to day struggle. Ive been researching into this latley and it all seems to make sense.

 

[Abstract]

I was never a street child and did not have that background at all but have always had protective behaviours. The keys in the hand (poking between fingers is one. Walking with finger on emergency number on mobile is another. @Definitely..maybe, I have always done lot of those but I will say some of it is self protective. I don't want people to think I have issues of any type or that I am emotional as I feel it makes me a target. Like @rightkindofme said being liked can be protective at times. What is best is a middle point which takes hard work.

I used to dress in ways that hid my femininity and felt protective but then started seeing that it actually did the opposite. I made myself start dressing in a way that made it look like I care about myself and am confident rather than communicating that I was trying to hide or was defensive. I stopped just wearing black too. I artificially sound angry when I need to to protect myself even when I can't feel it as I have to protect my boundaries that way sometimes.

I studied body language and what it communicates and think of that for situations all the time. I don't know if anyone has seen documentaries on wolves. I found that interesting. I don't want to be the beta dog.

 

[rightkindofme]

@Abstract I also started avoiding black. Wearing bright colors makes people stand farther away from me and I don't know why.

 

[franciemarnie]

I noticed when I carry an umbrella, no one crazy approaches.

 

[EverOnly358]

No one would assume I have ptsd, people actually doubt I have it because I am a constant people pleaser and feel guilty if I look mad or upset- so I smile a lot.

That's me, too. I tend to laugh a lot or make jokes to make people relax and feel comfortable. But I think that is so-PTSD... trying to make everyone like me, make everyone happy... to assure myself that nobody around me will want to hurt me. It's really hard not to do that... and take a chance on just being myself. I try and I'm only successful once in a while.

I really, really struggle with wearing clothes that fit me. I tend to wear over-sized tops and sweaters and layers. I always really shock and surprise people around me when I wear clothes that actually fit me. I get a lot of compliments... but somehow, that has the opposite effect, and I go back to wearing sweatpants and baggy tops afterwards.

 

[rightkindofme]

I wear lipstick about 3 times a year. If someone comments I won't wear it the next year. :-\

 

[Abstract]

I tend to wear over-sized tops and sweaters and layers. I always really shock and surprise people around me when I wear clothes that actually fit me. I get a lot of compliments... but somehow, that has the opposite effect,

Part of having an eating disorder for me was avoiding attention and wearing big clothes was part of this too. Getting myself to wear things that fit was extremely difficult and triggering. If someone complimented me I would feel unsafe. That look of approval that people get sets me off badly sometimes. Then that would trigger my eating disorder. It was only as a result of realising on an intellectual level that if I was wearing a coat 10 sizes too big (this is what I did) that it set me aside rather than hiding me that I started truly being dedicated to changing.

The same with make-up. I felt it was a little like putting lipstick on something you would find under your shoe. It felt like I would be ridiculed or it would make me a target. Now I dress appropriately and present someone that looks confident. Even when I have a strong urge to walk around with a large bag over my head.

 

[Xbreed]

Those that know me,, Truly know me, Know I have a past, but there is a lot in my past that even my wife doesn't know, let alone casual friends, its not a disguise I wear, its a wall, a wall I started building at the age of 4 and stopped construction somewhere around 30. the past 18 years I have slowly allowed cracks to form in that wall to give those that want to know me other then what I put on display, the chance to do so. For along time my thought was, (If I let them in it will hurt).

 

[Miss_Understood]

I walk around with my head up and chest out. I also make eye contact often people don't like it.