How Do You Do It?

[Adrienne12]

I am sitting at work. I can't concentrate. I keep getting project after project to work on. I am inundated with spreadsheets. I looked them over and realize I can't even comprehend them right now. The one I attemped earlier was full of transposed numbers. It's like I am suddenly number dyslexic.

There are weeks where I am on a roll here and then there are days like today where I wish I stayed home. The more work I have...the more panicky I get.

The worst part is we had a flood in my building so they are re-doing the one side of my floor. I keep smelling this chemically wood glue smell which is a trigger for me. I need some kind of mask to be here.

I am curious how many of you in fact hold full time jobs? If so, any techniques on panic attacks and triggers at work.

 

[BloomInWinter]

OMG we could talk on this forever. GREAT thread!

I use...

• sticky notes. I put up a post-it of the thing I'm working on, and just keep looking at the post-it to remind myself which task to do.
• listening to calming music that has no triggers for me.
• IM'ing safe friends, work peeps

I lose my executive functioning too when my anxiety is up, my activation level is higher...or feel overwhelmed or triggered or angry....and mess up spelling, grammar, dates, numbers....

I set my email to only get new updates every 15 minutes. Then only check it every two hours. ...and turn off the bouncing reminders.

...and I have a folder in my inbox of all the accolades & thank you notes I get, and when I feel incompetent, read a few to remind me I've done better.

...and to activate my executive functioning, mindfulness, grounding, and especially, finding things to laugh about. Laughter is a GREAT way to get us out of the 'I'm somewhere else' and have a letdown of the anxiety into the now.

Here's a site I love for laughter...

• http://catalogliving.net/

 

[Adrienne12]

This is a lot of info. Thanks Bloom! I usually try to distract myself. The therapist I talk to mentioned keeping a hankerchief with perfume on it which I used today. But I keep getting whiffs of it and I would look like a weirdo with it up to my face all day.

If distracting doesn't work, I hide in the bathroom. I swear my co workers thinks I have the IBS. I lose time in there though too. I see the clock before I get up and 45 mins have passed by the time I come back. I no longer feel like I am insane anymore with the time loss since this forum. I was able to bring it up in therapy too. I worried before she would think I need to be hospitalized.

I just rambled....... I will put some of your ideas to use. It beats hiding in the bathroom half the day.

 

[jokuzzi]

I work full time too. It's hard at times but it also serves as a distraction...I have a habit of going into "auto-mode". My job has a lot of multitasking, I think it works for me because I do get hyperactive and just ssitting at my desk would be unbearable. I'm also blessed with an incredible boss who reads me well and is gifted in talking me down when I need it.

I wish I had some advise for you. The hankie sounds like a great idea. Who cares what other people think, if it gets you through the day, do it.

 

[Adrienne12]

Thanks Jokuzzi. There are days where I take it minute by minute. I don't want it to get that bad where I can't work. I will end up a recluse if I let myself. And you are right. It is a distraction.

 

[The Albatross]

I aspire to full time again, and I admire anybody with PTSD and a full time job.

 

[Adrienne12]

Albatross,

Most days, I have no idea how the hell I do it.

 

[jokuzzi]

My dad always had the answer to any excuse..."just do!". It used to piss me off so bad.

Did you take out the garbage?
I will.
No. Just do!
I'm gonna.
Just do!
ARGH!!!!!!!

There was no arguing with it.

But now, years later when I look back at all the hard times in my life, those stupid, frustrating words helped me.

Thanks Dad.

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

I am working full time as a primary school teacher. To be honest I think those 22 kids in my class are the only things keeping me here. I don't want to let them down. I bury myself in work when I am at home and then put on the mask every day and go to work. It is so exhausting but as I said before these kids are all that I have got.

I freaked out since my last therapy session because my T said that she thinks that it will affect my work if it hasnt already. I don't know what to do because I can't let these kids down.

 

[Adrienne12]

I am right there with you. It is difficult to function at work. It is so hard to hold it together. But somehow...I find a way every day. And it seems you have been too. So...there is strength in there somewhere. There are a lot of us with PTSD working.

You have a rewarding job. It helps you. There will be hard days. But then there are days that are great and you surprise yourself. It isn't easy by any means. Especially if you also suffer from panic attacks.

I hope it gets easier for you. I know I have gotten better at work. It wasn't till recently when my building flooded and that smell....that it started for me. I try to just focus on the present. If I can make it through the first hour...I try for the next hour. And I always tell myself I can leave at any time. It comforts me to have a way out.

Besides....you get the summer off right? Which means in a few short months...you can take a break and focus on you. But if it does become unbearable...you will have a way out. Maybe you need those kids as much as they need you.

 

[Zemi]

I work part-time and was wondering the same questions. Just actually going to start a thread and saw this one already here :) Hope more suggestions are given that will help all of us because I'm clueless on what helps.

 

[Mr. Smith]

I used to hold a full-time job but I moved so I have a part-time job now. I live to work because I have really nothing else to do. Sad but true and now summer hit so everyone is leaving, meh! But anyway the job I do you can do with your eyes closed so it gives me time to think about a lot of stuff. Healthy or not I do it anyways.