How Do You Experience Anger?

[nie]

In therapy this week I came to the realization that I don't know how to experience anger. I just try to avoid it, which leads to high anxiety. I am supposed to be working on this now. I was wondering how you experience anger, and if you had any suggestions about how to feel it without being afraid of it.

 

[EmoxxKid]

Painting

Writing

Cooking even...


Something where you channel ....and you are safe...

 

[BlankCanvas]

Hey nie, sounds like we're in the same boat. I have been noticing a lot of anger surfacing recently. It's definitely not a feeling I'm comfortable with and I usually try to avoid it. The thoughts that have crossed my mind have shocked me at times and these thoughts often lead to anxiety.

My therapist helped me a lot with this one. She assured me that just because angry thoughts might be frightful/violent/bizarre, it does not mean we are going to act on them. No matter what angry thoughts come up, we can control our behaviour (e.g. go for a walk, punch a pillow, etc). For me, this was very comforting. Also, my therapist told me that it can be liberating to 'fantasize' with our anger. She used the example of visualizing myself beating up my past abuser in order to release my angry feelings. Of course this is just fantasy, and as long as we can differentiate between the two it can serve as a good release. I have yet to become really comfortable with this idea, but it might work for some people. I just went and read the rage/anger thread and realized that this 'fantasy' exercise might not be the greatest for everyone. I just thought I would pass on what my T suggested for me :)

I'm curious to see what other people have to contribute in this thread...

 

[2quilt]

Gosh, I don't have any trouble at all expressing anger; anger is normally the first and most viscous (vishus) emotion that is my first choice.

Bad 2quilt!


Hey, welcome back after the absence, emoxxkid!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I used to be a raging maniac.....I could rage over anything and everything. I didn't know anything but anger......It's hard to rein it in, but I try to figure out what is pissing me off, first, and if I can't, then I let it go, but in a safe place, and when I am alone.

I try to not let it out on other people. If I screw up, then there is always the words..."I'm Sorry." And i hope they accept it.....

 

[cragger65]

I experience anger as an overall tightening (jaws, chest, shoulders, fists) and racing thoughts. I think for me, anger always came out sideways in my sense of humour mostly. Then it came out in great gushes after the accident, which felt great and freeing. Then in the form of rage as ptsd took over, then into struggling with guilt about the anger and my ability (or lack thereof) to control it.

Now, I just note that anger is what I'm feeling, and try not to judge myself for having a normal human emotion and response. This is a challenge sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I have no problems expressing anger. I often let it out in inappropriate ways though. People don't know how to deal with me when I get angry so I am alone much of the time.

 

[cat]

Anger!

Hi nie

I recently had this same conversation with my psychologist, the angry thoughts I'm now having feel very alien to me & like you I've been avoiding them, finding every other reason to explain what those feelings were & it wasn't until she gently but firmly said 'you are angry, but its healthy & you need to explore it' that i actually allowed myself to acknowledge it but I'm still very uncomfortable with it. The way we're dealing with it is through Focusing Therapy which makes you explore how these feelings are expressed in your body, it's tricky to do & I'm not there yet but it is making me listen to how I'm feeling instead of trying to avoid it & therefore reducing my anxiety levels. In fact I think it may be the reason that I am suddenly feeling strong enough to face up to my trauma & open up all those deep thoughts to my psychologist.

 

[BrownEyes]

I'm afraid of anger. My own, and anyone elses. I can't seem to differentiate between anger and rage. Anger is a trigger for me I think. When I was a child, all I experienced from my parents was anger and rage. Fierce and destructive and punishing anger and rage, and I never allowed myself to have that emotion.

Now that I'm in therapy I think I'm starting to feel the very small stirrings of anger and it scares me. I want to avoid it. But I think it's coming out through my body in the form of muscle tension. So I do progressive muscle relaxation to counteract it, but I'm starting to realize I may not be able to continue avoiding it. Maybe it would feel good to get it out. But I'm still scared of it for now.

 

[Irton Pike]

I experience anger as an overwhelming desire to batter the living daylights out of whoever or whatever is pissing me off. I have learnt to walk away from people. Generally i go and kick a tree or something.

Given how i feel i think ido pretty well as i haven't been violent to anyone even when people have hit me.

 

[Noone.]

Hi Nie.

Well the rules on this one are different for everyone.
For me I try to stay pretty even keel, that's with the help of meds of course.
I don't realy think I'm worried about being angry,
I'm more concerend that when I am angry, will I be able to stop before killing someone.
I guess this is why firemen don't carry guns. LOL.

See ya.

Fire.

 

[TLight]

I'm on the same page as Irton. My anger scares me and mostly I just stay away from people......except my BF......I don't trust any of them. I hate it that I'm this way......
I'm trying to work with the rage now. But I'm sort of at a loss. My therapist says go out and break something, sticks etc. I feel like I've been doing that my whole life and nothing seems to change. She says do it and then leave it there, leave it in the destroyed objects etc. I'm a little better, not boiling with rage constantly.........but if I'm stressed and someone disrespects me or I feel like I'm being put down.......I really have a hard time with my anger.

Mostly it gets immediately turned inward now because I'm afraid to express it.........people abandon me immediately. So now I seem to go directly to suicidal thoughts.........just plain tired.