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How Do You Feel About Your Parents?

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Seeking_Nirvana

MyPTSD Pro
All I ever read in here is how bad everyones parents have been. I don't have a good memory but I don't ever recall seeing someone say something positive about a parent.

I would like to take the time and start this post to see if anyone in here can find at least one nice thing to say about their parent/s.

My mother committed suicide when I was 9 so I don't really know a lot about her. She seemed to love me and I hope she is in a better place now.

My father was a criminal and was neglectful but he loved me. He did the best he could do as a parent. He made mistakes as all human beings do. How can I beat up on him for his mistakes, when I've made some of the same with my own child?

On the few occasions he spent time with me he make it count! He instilled a lot of wisdom in me. I carry his words around with me to this day. My favorites are: "Things aren't always as they seem", "There are always two sides to every story because everyone perceives things differently", "Some things are better left unsaid", "Never underestimate your opponent", and "Choose your battles wisely"

When I was all grown up I got into a car accident and there was no one willing to help me out. My father finally grew up, and became a 'dad'

In loving memory of:
Ronald Propst Sr.
Billie Propst



Tammy
 
Hmm..hard question, but I'll give it a go..

My dad. I don't remember much about him, that's for sure. He truly loves me. He always act in the best interest for me, although it mostly turns out wrong anyway..

Mom...mother...she doesn't even deserve that title! But one nice thing about her..damn..I just can't . Really, truly, I can't!
 
This is not an easy thread. Um. How about my mother didn't actually kill me? Probably not what you're after, but I'm not yet at the stage where I can look at them in a positive way, because even the stuff that wasn't abuse is all contaminated in my mind.
 
What Seychelle said. I couldn't articulate it before reading this, but it's how I feel about my mom, that even the stuff that wasn't and isn't abusive is contaminated. I always try to find something good to say about everyone. It's really hard with her, but here's one: she works to help people she doesn't know.

My dad probably opened the whole can of worms for me by leaving my mother, which paved the way for most - if not all - of my traumatic experiences, but even as a teenager I could understand why he did it. She's impossible to live with. What really hurt me, though, was that he had very little contact with me until I was 18. Since then, he's been a great dad. He's met my criteria for real forgiveness:

1) He has acknowledged how his actions hurt me and expressed genuine remorse on numerous occasions and in various ways
2) He has consistently been good to me over a period of more than 20 years.
 
I've visited this post 2 or 3 times now, and I do not recall a positive memory of my mother. Thinking about her angers me. The only good thing about her is she can cook.

My biological father- was but a sperm donor....he had no part in raising me, and for his own reasons, unknown to me, he has chosen to continue to be absent.

My step-dad, the one I call Dad, has been here for me. My best childhood memories are with him at the yearly family amusement park vacations. We all had so much carefree fun.
 
Some of how I feel:

I wish my mother well, and want her to find relaxation, peace with herself, and enjoyment in her remaining years, here on earth. I'd like things to come easier for her then they do and would love to be able to find the time and state of mind, (simultaneous to one another), to both be able to visit again soon while feeling confident that I can return to my home not all confused, depressed and/or messed up in my head. While visiting, I'd like to again help her out with so many things that are challenging and some most difficult for her.

I love my mother, though I do alternate between this love for her and my seemingly unavoidable and reoccurring feelings of frustration and intrusive thoughts of indifference. If I can get beyond some of this again, or when willing to accept these feelings toward her in small doses, I'd like to invite her over to visit us again. I like to provide services for her and take some care of her. I like to see that she is well. Lately, I've been missing seeing her and having her over.

My father has now passed on and though it was extremely difficult to hang-out with him in those eight yrs. that he had returned, (those last 8 yrs. of his life), in fact it made me deathly ill at times and was likely extremely detrimental to me, still I'm glad I got to see him again and to get first hand experience coming to know some of who he was (many yrs. after his reign of terror) and what he was about, and all without him drinking the booze.

My mother use to desire to, and would tell me, in her honest eval., who and what my father was, since I believed her untrustworthy in everything and saw her full of self-loathing and progressive hatred so many times, I felt I needed to determine the credibility of all her many vents/rants, for myself.

Hope
 
The one good thing I can think of, that my mother gave me, is vegetarianism.

When I was 7, she decided that we needed to eat seafood, to get enough protein. Her argument, as to why it was morally okay, was that, "fish don't feel pain".
Once again, justifying her actions with bullshit.
She's one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen.

I didn't meet my father until I was 18. We have a fake relationship. He calls me, every now and then, and pretends like he really cares about me and my life. I'm like a novelty to him.

He's never seen any of his grandchildren, ages 5, 9 and 11. My theory is that he's waiting for them to be 18, before meeting them.
 
My mother was a good mother and she did the best she could even raising the old mans 3 kids from his first marriage. I took care of my mother when she got sick and also went blind. I took care of her and spent as much time as I could with her right up to the night she died. She gave me love and faith strong enough that I would never go through what she had to.
And my father I can say he died. That is it.
Judy
 
My dad, while not around when my mother was abusing me because he was in and out of prison, is a good guy. He would do anything for anyone. He is a very caring person and we are very close. My daughter is his complete world.

My mother, on the other hand, honestly has no redeeming qualities. There is nothing good I can say about her. She is brilliant - except she uses that to manipulate everyone around her.
 
Here goeds. My mother.. i grew up with... I never starved.. there was always dinner on the table .. she would constantly guilt trip me about this, as though it made her an awesome mother that she fed me... but I guess I should still be greatful I didnt starve.

Honestly though, she made it out like feeding me was like giving me a playstation or a christmas present .. if u know what i mean, when in reality in western soceity making sure your kid has food is just what a parent SHOULD do.

As for my dad... cant think of anything, i lost contact with him when I was about 7 and didnt see him until iw as 19, he never paid child support or anything....im 25 now and I havnt spoken to him in over a year or seen him in over 2 years.. and this is the way its staying.

If my mother continues the way she is, she will also get thrown in the same garbage bag my dad did.
 
Well, with every positive attribute one applied to their parent, a negative one followed. I was hoping this could be a therapeutic tool to help everyone. IMO every human has some good in them. Obviously, some have more than others, but it's so hard for us to look past all of the negative and see the positive.

This is called positive thinking and I was hoping that we could all try it. We could start with one of the hardest things, and that being our parents.

Honestly, I love and adore my dad with all of his flaws. Of course he didn't beat on me or molest me (I hope). If he did molest me I think I would have a hard time saying anything nice about him on here either. He did steal from me, and manipulate. He taught me to be a criminal and to forge prescription drugs where I almost got caught and could have done prison time. There is a lot more too.....

The thing I don't understand is that I'm the only one who likes my dad, so if I can find good in him then there must be some.

I think if everyone tries you can find at least one good quality in your parents (even if they molested you) that you can write down here. Just try please? This is hard for me ask of you to do because when I read Cyndi's post I felt like agreeing with her. So if this is to difficult then don't do it, but I think it would be beneficial for most of us.

My father taught me to be strong and to stand up for myself. He taught me that life isn't fair, but to play the hand I was dealt like he did. He told me he was proud of me for graduating from High School and he knew I was the only one that would because I had the determination and ability to deal with life. (I tend to disagree here, but it was nice that he said that) He apologized for leaving the door unlocked when the man raped me. He cried with me one night when I was drunk 2 years after the fact. He was a man who didn't show any signs of weakness, but for me he cried.

I don't recall to much about my mother. But here are a few things: she was beautiful in the pictures I see. Her smile alone lights up the pictures with a genuine feeling that can't be faked. When I got thresh mouth she felt so bad for me, so she dug in the bottom of her purse and found some change and bought me M&Ms instead of buying herself a pack of cigarettes.

Tammy
 
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