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How do you know what your triggers are?

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TTC18

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How do you know what your triggers are? I only know the most obvious - getting threatened by my stalker. (Any sort of contact 'counts' as threat to me, since he knows I'm afraid.) A phone ringing (because it could be my stalker) - a knock at the door (or any loud sudden sound that *could* be a knock at the door) because it could be my stalker, or anything else along those lines. I thought about trying to keep an anxiety journal, like you keep a food journal to look for food allergies - but I can't tell where one anxiety ends and another begins. It's more like waves - sometimes I'm so afraid that I've got pins and needles in my hands and screaming in my head - and sometimes I'm just mildly afraid and looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is there. Maybe I should look at 'mildly afraid' as my version of calm, and just log the worse-than-that times. Or - is there a better way?
 
Yes - so having a finger shaken in my face is a trigger because my dad used to yell and shake his finger in my face before he beat me. Being in a situation where people are upset is a stressor, but getting yelled at by a man who is shaking his finger in my face is a trigger. Thinking about this more, I have, like, a million triggers. I spend so much time bouncing away from things, it's like I'm in a pinball machine.
 
I'm on a strange phase 2 of this; I know most of the things that have triggered me, but even if I see it happening, recognize the trigger, process the situation, understand there is no danger or harm, and "keep moving"- minutes, hours, or DAYS can pass, and that "trigger" is still vibrating inside of me and doesn't go away until I "let it out", which is usually anxiety or panic.

I find, more than anything, talking helps. Talking, talking, talking. If you can find a processing partner you trust and talk about it . Usually it's a one-sided conversation, just working your own feelings and thoughts out. Sometimes even forums like this; writing a big long post about what's going on, and even if you don't send it it's getting all your thoughts and feelings out of your head and in front of your face. It can help with a lot of awareness and understanding of what's happening and why.

I say this even as I'm here asking for help because I can't figure this crap out :P

I guess to address your question directly;
Try to be mindful of your emotional and mental state. "Okay, I was just fine a minute ago now I'm not, what happened". For me, at least, recognizing the moment of transition helps to pinpoint the trigger. But if I can't remember how I was feeling a bit ago or how long I've been feeling panicked, I can't really point to a sound, event, etc. I try to constantly check in with myself. How am I feeling? Do I have anxiety right now? Is it physical, emotional, or mental? How long have I felt like I do now? Do I feel the same as I did earlier? etc. It's become habit and has really helped me with small triggers and managing my anxiety.
 
How do you know what your triggers are? I only know the most obvious - getting threatened by my stalker. (Any sort of contact 'counts' as threat to me, since he knows I'm afraid.) A phone ringing (because it could be my stalker) - a knock at the door (or any loud sudden sound that *could* be a knock at the door) because it could be my stalker, or anything else along those lines. I thought about trying to keep an anxiety journal, like you keep a food journal to look for food allergies - but I can't tell where one anxiety ends and another begins. It's more like waves - sometimes I'm so afraid that I've got pins and needles in my hands and screaming in my head - and sometimes I'm just mildly afraid and looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is there. Maybe I should look at 'mildly afraid' as my version of calm, and just log the worse-than-that times. Or - is there a better way?
I look over my shoulder in fear of someone there. I also get alarmed by the loud bell. I hate it, it startles me in a negative annoying way.
 
I’m discovering new triggers as new memories emerge. For me it’s the unprocessed stuff that comes to the surface which catches me off guard. If I’m able to identify the trigger and why then I am able to tell someone what is going on. Sometimes I am shaking so bad I can’t speak or I end up sobbing. The one’s I hate the most are the times I feel bodily sensations.
 
It sounds like you know what your triggers are, but you are hesitant to label them as that because they happen so often it doesn’t fit with what you hear about other people’s triggers. If you think they are all triggers, go ahead and call them all triggers because trying to convince yourself that they’re not might not let you heal.
 
I just find mine out as they come.
It has taken about three years, and I don't get too many new triggers to add to the list anymore. Occasionally old ones return that haven't triggered me in a while. Some never seem to go away.
Some triggers I discovered by getting triggered for the first time and then having full-blown flashbacks with new memories returning.

At the beginning I was obsessed with "finding out all my triggers" so I could avoid them all. With time I learned how to cope better, and also learned that, in fact, I wouldn't die even when a new one sent me into a panic attack / depression / heightened anxiety / brought flashbacks, etc.

Still the legwork at the beginning was useful for me, getting a sort of hold on what triggers there are in order to protect myself in the rawest of state.

Do know that triggers can change as you heal, as well. They have for me.
 
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