How Do You Know When It's Time To Quit?

[Iam]

How do you know when you are done with therapy? I'm considering phasing out therapy with my primary T and just going to my EMDR T. I'm scheduled weekly with him thru this month. He and I talked about it today. I've been doing really good for the last two weeks. We discussed why I am doing so well, so that I can keep emulating it. He warned me that many times when a patient starts doing well that the core inside rebels and self sabatoges. So he suggested that we phase out going every other week for a month or two, then every 3 weeks and finally once a month. He says that it helps the psychi to know that there will be an accountability check in. Also that if there is an episode duirng this time it helps that there hasn't been a total break in therapy.

IDK, it kind of scares me, but I feel like we have possibly gone as far as we can together. Plus I would still be seeing my emdr T every week.

Have any of you stopped therapy because you felt like you had done as much you can woth a particular therapist? If so, how did you know it was time to leave?

 

[Jawn]

Did your T agree with you that you had gone as far with him as you can? I know he suggested a phase out plan, but what was his opinion in general? I would also discuss with your EMDR T and get their opinion too before making a final decision.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Good idea Jawn. We didn't really discuss if we had gone as far as we can, just that I am feeling better. He did say that is the best time to delve deeper into core issues and feels that my EMDR T is laying a good foundation for that. I will take your advice and be more specific when I ask her about it on Friday. I'll be more specific when I ask Dale next week. Just the thought does scare me.

 

[Jade-]

IDK Iam....you recently had a breakdown and was hospitalized. I think you need your T. more than you realize.

 

[Jawn]

I think Jadebear read my mind when she wrote her post. I don't think there is a need to rush things, but certainly get input from both T's and try to make the best informed decision you can.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

I understand what you are saying Jade and Jawn. I totally agree that I shouldn't stop therapy all together. I would still be seeing my EMDR T every week though. I am only talking about phasing out with the primary T that I started with. It's just that it doesn't seem like we have much to discuss anymore. Ahh well, I am scheduled to see him every week this month. Guess I can see how it goes and make a decision with their imput in January.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I HAVE to agree with Jade. I know you know, but just stressing it here. Take your time. Or maybe find someone else? Just seems weird that you would be in the hospital one minute and then be thinking about phasing out your therapy.

I'm doing the opposite with my T. Its gets VERY hard to get through the week, so I'm at twice a week now. With one week, I usually ended up breaking down and sending a " I'm a crazy person" email, that when I read it later I think I should have gone to the hospital.

Of course this might help you too. Maybe when you start phasing, and you haven't seen him in a few weeks it will help you remember things you haven't talked about.

 

[anni]

I don't mean to frustrate you, Iam. I do hope you're not reading and feeling like noone is understanding, or sort of feeling alone with this. Most have been there, so recognize the scenary, that's all, but you know that, I know. It's just that when one is so freshly out of such a turbulent, in-need time, perhaps it's not quite the moment to make any kind of huge decisions such as this one, which I realize is kind of ditto what others have said. Maybe you don't have much to say to your T at the moment through either sheer emotional exhaustion or having reached some platue you need to process, not having 'finished' the conversation. Or, like someone said, perhaps there's something about this one which is simply precluding correct conversation.

Everyone is different, I know. It's tough to just sort of sit out here and hand out opinion as someone else's 'fact', but it does seem just a little soon to perhaps contemplate such a major change.

Hugs, though, whatever you decide.

 

[Jade-]

Think of it this way Iam...if I was going to a EMDR therapist and I was considering phasing out my primary T., what would you say to me? We both already know the answer to that, you would be concerned and think it might not be anything I should be considering at all for awhile.

We are all just concerned for you.....

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

ditto on the concern.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Are you sure this is the only reason? Or avoiding things?

 

[Iam]

I sure feel the love and concern from all of you. Thanks so much. I see the general consensus here and it sure is powerful LOL ;)

Jade, yes I would be concerned if you were talking about it and would offer the same advice :o). Also, when my pyschologist and I start addressing the traumas with emdr instead of just laying the groundwork fo r it, I may very well need to be seeing my other T every week, like Ayesha, just to make it through.

Ayesha, no, I am not trying to avoid anything as I am addressing things with my other therapist. BTW, I have done the crazy email stuff too, you aren't the only one. It has been embarassing at times but it also was extremely helpful to be able to send those emails. Kind of a release, if you know what I mean or just simply to tell him something that I couldn't verbalize face to face.

Anni, that is a very good point, that I may just be at a plateau. He has warned me recently that we aren't going to have major breakthroughs every week or even every month, that our relationship is part of the therapy in itself. Although he does trust what the psychologist is doing with me and 8 weeks ago he asked me if wanted to go down to every other week since I was seeing her weekly. Of course that was before my breakdown.

So thanks again all, I am listening to the general consensus. God I do just want to be done with all of this.