If I understand your situation, you are still in a precess
of recovering from the last major PTSD event, and you are feeling frustrated, because you are still isolating and experiencing a lack of safety, in being in the world?
I've had big triggers of my trauma, that took me a year or two, to be as functional as I was before the trauma. I really had to delicately and consistantly work with myself, as well as get professional help, during theses periods: in other words I needed daily help, hand holding help, to rebuild myself.
Do you have access to having psychiatric and psychogical help, as well as having the ability to work with massage therapists, acupuncturists, craniosacral therapists, etc?
I understand PTSD as a condition that has periods of getting worse, and getting better--as I improve my skills of living with it. So I live with it, and get through exacerbations, but I don't ever not have it.
Does that make since? What are your thoughts about this?