How Do You Manage Your Anger?

[GWhizz]

@ghotiff, I really wish I could have some 'me-time' before and after work, but I work from 7.30am-8.30pm or those hours on nights and it takes me half an hour each way to get to work! On top of that, I'm getting up extra early to pump milk (sorry if tmi!), and pumping when I get home. I wish my working hours could be more family friendly but not while I work in an acute hospital... I'm only back in work about a month now though, so I guess I'll become better at making a work-home life balance. And also getting my own time! I think lack of sleep is my main problem though. I am not a good sleeper at the best of times, maybe because I was kept awake a lot as a child I'm not used to sleeping well at all. Also, our baby still wakes A LOT A LOT!!

I'm trying to fit in some meditation twice a day, it definitely helps me utilise my free time and working time better too as I'm more mindful and not wasting time either, though I know it's good to just do nothing sometimes too. I just feel like I've SO much going on. But maybe I do too much for my partner too, for example, he's off for the summer taking care of the baby. But today I'm off and he's gone to the library to do some study. I am spending today trying to clean up what is 90% of his mess while trying to also make sure there's enough fresh food etc made for our baby for when I'm working. No offense to any men, but he is NOT suited to the stay at home dad role. And I think a lot of our silly tiffs lately are to do with this on top of other stress for me personally.

Thanks for all the comments, unfort I don't have time to reply to everyone lol. Though I'm really overwhelmed and grateful for all the feedback :-) hugs to you all

 

[KwanYingirl]

I had the same problem with my ex and child are. I was lucky tone a stay at home mom til they went to school. We both worked in hospitals-I worked four ten hour days and he worked a forty hour weekend leaving him plenty of time for chores. But all he did was drink. Everything fell on my shoulders. He wouldn't even drive them to sports activities. We lived on a long desolate dirt road in the middle of nowhere. I found out he was making my then 10 year old walk home alone from the bus. That was the end of my marriage.

 

[GWhizz]

@KwanYingirl I'm sorry you're marriage was like that. Thankfully my partner does not have any interest in alcohol. He is a good worker outside of the home, but he is quite immature in ways, like preferring to spend his free time playing FIFA etc. I know it's hard taking care of a baby and a huge adaptation from him to go from university life to parenting 24/7 in a different city from all his friends etc. This is one of our issues. I have most of my friends here, yet his are the other side of the country now he's living up here fulltime. And not yet having a job means he hasn't got to make new friends yet. So I think he needs his own time out from family just as much as I do. The problem is, that he seems to think I'm gone all the time having fun but I'm actually working my butt off literally! For example, yesterday I got a call at 3pm asking me to come in and work the nightshift - I worked 7.30pm-8.00am, got in at almost 9am and pumped milk for an hour, then said I was off to bed for a few hours and he started complaining how tired he was from having broken sleep doing nightfeeds! I was so exhausted I snapped at him saying 'you had some sleep, I haven't had any'! I stormed off to bed. Then got up about 3hrs later - wanted to get back to normal times as back on dayshifts again and don't sleep great as is - and he starts pulling me up on how cranky I was that morning! Sigh! I'm painting a pretty bad pic of him, he is great in so many ways, but just doesn't seem to think before he comments when he's tired. And I have such a low tolerance threshold these days, I just snap over the smallest thing aagh! Sigh!