How do you work on (non-sexual) intimacy issues?

[barefoot]

@DogLover33 I interpreted your previous post in the same way as @Suzetig - it sounded like your therapist had decided on end of session hugs and that you weren't keen but thought it must be a good idea/something you should try because he had suggested it.

Not saying you shouldn't try hugging him if that's genuinely what you want to do. But I think I would be cautious.

If the idea of potentially touching hands with someone sends you into a panic, going into full-on hugs with him sounds like quite a leap?

And I know you have posted elsewhere about things like are you being too dependent on your therapist and are you annoying to him etc. I just wonder whether adding physical contact into the mix might be an additional layer of complexity into that already tricky dynamic?

Anyway, whatever you decide, good luck! And know that if you do opt for hugs, you can always change your mind!

 

[kilted]

If the therapist is initiating touch in a therapeutic relationship where the client feels IN ANY WAY unable to communicate their true feelings then things are on a slippery slope..... because the therapist isn't aware enough of the dynamics within the relationship to make an accurate therapeutic judgement about the use of touch.

Ask the therapist if they are talking to their supervisor about their use of therapeutic touch.... if the answer is "No" or "I don't have/need a supervisor" then you're on dodgy ground. I know that the US doesn't require therapists to have supervision, but my view is that the European system is far superior in this regard. IT might not stop all issues, but at least there's a mechanism for the therapist to be challenged on their view of the client and the therapeutic relationship.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

nope i didn't explain the story. hugs has been an issue i worked on for many sessions, via talk only and i expressed to him my interest in wanting to learn to be ok with it. he OFFERED and told me that it was 100% ok to say no or not yet. he did not force it in any form. i went with it. we discussed the hug the following session and he said "if you are ok with it, we could start doing it more often to end sessions or something to get you more used it but it is totally on you, you let me know your comfort level" so ya its nothing on him. this is something i want, i trust him and its ok.

i understand the concern but i didn't think i needed to explain it lol. its all good. i wouldnt of allowed it if i wasnt ok. in fact we hugged the first time in the lobby right near the door because he wanted me to feel like i could get out fast if i needed to. he is fantastic. i trust him a lot. no worries there