How Does This Make You Feel..

[iwannadeletethis]

... When your significant other gets mad at you for sharing your trauma(you've only shared it once) Then doesn't want to hear about your PTSD?

 

[The Albatross]

Hmm. Quite frankly I think it makes me feel that I have the wrong partner.

 

[Tinyflame]

Frightened, lonely & regretful.

 

[Flossy]

He doesn't.

If he did I would see that as a major character flaw in him and ask myself do I want this kind of partner. Imagine if you get cancer in ten years time and he doesn't want to hear about that either. Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour. This guy is not your significant other, that implies a soul connection. He is not connected to your pain and does not want to be. He takes it even further by getting angry? Kick him to the curb.

That's what I had to do with two marriages. I got a good one on the third.

A clue is with this question. What would your very best girlfriend or your most loving mother or father do/say? Is this how they would react?
No? Then he's not what you need. We all deserve the same qualities in a partner as we get from someone who loves us properly as friend or family. Nothing less, nothing different. Only sexual activity is added. The rest needs to be just as close, loving and reliable or better.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

@Flossy i don't have that example in my life. Im still trying to find someone who loves me well.

 

[Flossy]

@Skitzii I didn't either. Over twenty years ago I went to a divorce counsellor and when she asked me what I wanted to work on I said.
"I need to go to 'How Not to Marry Another Asshole School" and I need to treat it as though I am attending school.

She was my teacher, I took notes, made notes in an exercise book beside my bed and took it to every session.

I did not know what 'loving me well" looked like. I call it "loving me properly".

It involves expectations, setting boundaries, setting limites when those boundaries are crossed = how many chances do they get?, and following through. It's hard and it sucks big time. But it's worth it.

I also think of the saying "Nature abhors a vacuum". You cannot get a better kind of love while you are still involved with someone who does not know how to love you properly. You need to create a vacuum to let a better kind of love come in to your life.

I write things out and exercise books. Make lists. Wish lists. What I want in life and in a man and in family. It didnt work for me to get it all but it worked for me to get rid of what was bad for me.

I hope some of this helps. Please try it. Read every book you can find in the library on men and women. I liked Barbara Di Angeles "Are You The One For Me". A practical guide to help you figure what is fixable and what is not. She also wrote "Secrets About Men Women Should Know". They are worth getting and studying. Make your bedtime, life study time. Use highlighters to mark sentences that you can relate to.