How Long Do You Need To Prepare To Face The Day?

[OKRADLAK]

I have many rituals and things I need to do to be able to leave the house.

I am wondering if it takes anyone else hours to get ready to go to work or school or appts?

 

[melody]

Okradlak, I'm not sure I would call them rituals - I think stalling tactics better suit me. It's almost like I prolong everything in hopes that something will happen and I won't have to go out. I also stand behind the front door, look through the peephole a couple of times and count to three (sometimes more than once) before I can open it and step out.

It kind of makes me sound a little crazy now that I've written it down, but that's how I do it.

 

[The Albatross]

I take about 2-3 hours. I wake up, come on line, read and/or post, check my emails (I get daily reading in the email for inspirational stuff), do some stress reduction, bathe and dress... then if I'm not very ready, I got some fudge room to chat.

But I do it.

 

[NIKI]

I have many rituals

Hi OKRADLAK, Do you have (OCD) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Is that what you mean by your rituals?

I have OCD and it s*cks!!!!!!!! Sometimes I have lots of things I feel that I have to do to move on to the next thing. It is EXHAUSTING!!!!

 

[The Albatross]

My mom has OCD behaviors... my husband's preference though not OCD type rituals is consistency... that is where he gets his comfort. So if he doesn't get to do things "on time" or in the order he prefers he gets a bit upset and is off balance the rest of the day.

I on the other hand... use my first waking hours to set my mind on what I need to do each day... and sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly build myself up enough to get my butt out there and actually accomplish it.

 

[OKRADLAK]

I do not think I have ocd.,........no, more like scared of everything!

 

[The Albatross]

Okradlak... I think people got hung up on the word ritual. I didn't at first.
I do a minimum of "an hour of power"... self care and setting my priorities and mind for the day... it's a habit now... but a necessary one cuz I manage better if I do it. Eventually it will become effortless (I'm hoping).. but left on my own devices... I got to build myself up to "brave the world outside my door"... and I got no problem with spending the time if it gets me the results I want.

What about you? Why the question? What is your concern? How can we help you more directly?

 

[BloomInWinter]

It's all I can do to drag myself and the kids outta bed (with hubby's help) and get to work.

I wake up exhausted. I go to bed exhausted.

I hope someday this is better.

 

[Shattered]

I like to have a few days or more notice before I have to leave. I like it written on the family calendar. I also like things to be predictable. For example: I have T on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My son needs a lift every Friday. Etc. I need time to build up my armor to be around people. I don't like people.

 

[stuff]

I've really been trying to define this for my T lately. I definitely need time to prepare. When I feel rushed I get stuck in a loop of all the despair I felt as a kid: the horror of having to face another bad day at school, coupled with not being able to escape the chaos at home. Even though my job is pretty good these days, and I'm in relative control of my own life, the same anxiety comes back the minute I feel that push to hurry. Things were always rushed as a kid, I was constantly yelled at for being slow or lazy, and never given a hand with anything. If we were late it was my fault even if I had nothing to do with the delay. I feel this huge wall of guilt, nausea and self-loathing the minute I lag even the slightest bit. It's the most awful feeling. I try to trick myself into my mornings these days. I get up a couple hours early and work at getting ready in small steps, and always make sure I eat something for breakfast. (My job is really physical, and I'm a nightmare if I forget to eat.) I'm a fiercely hard worker, but trying to stick to schedules is painful for me. I know I have to do it in order to keep a roof over my head, but it would be so much easier if I could set my own hours, especially when my insomnia gets bad.

 

[Ruth09]

I usually wake up to the second alarm. If I'm not up, my dog will come into my room and get me out of bed. The Trazadone sometimes gives me "foggy" mornings.

After I'm up, dressed, got my keys, and "ready" to go. I start the checks.

I make sure everything is secured in the house before I leave. And if I doubt myself about the checks, I'll start over.

I'll check and re-check to make sure that everything the can be un-plugged is un-plugged. This includes the coffee maker that has an automatic shut-off.
I check to make sure that the light switches are off. This is done at least 5 times per switch.
I check to make sure that the gas stove dials are in the off position. This is done multiple times, too.

Everything has to be off. Everything has to be safe. Everything has to be secured.

And then, I'll lock the door and the metal security door to my house. I'll check this multiple times, again, and again.

I'll do a visual sweep of my neighborhood before I leave.

If any one of my neighbors is leaving their house at the same time, I'll wait until their vehicle clears out from the neighborhood before I leave my home.

If there is a kid riding his bike, I will wait until he clears the neighborhood.

If a vehicle drives into the neighborhood as I leave, I will hesitate near the corner of the neighborhood until the car clears the neighborhood.

It used to take me 1 1/2 hours to leave my home "after" being ready to leave.

I've been in therapy and on meds. While I still do most of these checks, I don't do ALL of them. And I've gotten my departure down to about 30 minutes. However, I still have my bad days.

If I have a friend waiting in their car because we are going somewhere,.... I feel like I'm being rushed. I get panicky.

If its my brother and his wife, my brother will just ask my for my house keys and he will secure my house just so we can leave on time.

Accountability and Hypervigilance. Battlemind explains it, but it doesn't make it any easier.

 

[scaldedsheep]

I don't really have super routines. I mean if I have to go to work I go. It's the same with school but sometimes occasionally if I decide to go out I sometimes have to sit in my car for a half an hour just to prepare myself to go in.