How Many Times?

[MissCanada]

This is not something I talk about with the people in my life as it's not what people want to hear and really it's not that believable. The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was 18, by my pregnant friends boyfriend. He felt me up while I was sleeping at her house. I went to police after the fact and charged him but the case was thrown out due to lack of evidence. A year later while walking down the street I was robbed at gunpoint. Never found that guy. When I graduated college I moved away to start a new life and had some roommates. The one roommate had a birthday a couple weeks after I moved there. We had a party and a guy we didn't know ended up in our apartment and I ended up getting sexually assaulted by this person. It was an attack and I was scared. I called 911 and charged him. That one ended in a conviction but that was the start of my ptsd. I couldn't sleep, I didn't trust anybody, I had nightmares, flashbacks and major issues with men. I decided to move back closer to home where it was easier to seek professional help. I started going to a psychiatrist. I slowly started feeling better. Then on one visit to the psych Dr., he sexually assaulted me. The person I trusted to help me, now took advantage of me. In the moment I felt shock. I walked out and questioned if that really happened. I went from the office to the police. It took over 6 months for them to charge him as they were waiting for dna testing to come back. It went to a preliminary hearing but didn't make it to trial. They said since I had mental health issues that I wouldn't be a reliable witness. Yet, aren't all his victims going to have mental health issues? I have recently heard that the Dr has been charged again. Makes me feel somewhat less crazy. Being what I've been threw and the different situations and outcomes, Ive come to understand that you don't need that guilty on that charge, or a charge at all, it's just nice to be heard.
Thank you for taking a minute

 

[shrinkingviolet]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for what you have endured and the betrayal of trust. I commend you on reporting and standing up for yourself! I hope you can find a T you can trust to work through all of this.

 

[rightkindofme]

I've been assaulted by 12 men. I believe you. I'm so sorry for your experiences.

 

[Empowered Spoonie]

I'm so sorry for your experiences. It's especially devastating that someone in a position to help you violated your trust in such a profound way. I've been sexually assaulted four times that I can remember. Two of the incidents recently were remembered via flashback. I worry how many more I have had that I still do not remember.

 

[shimmerz]

They said since I had mental health issues that I wouldn't be a reliable witness

I wish I didn't believe this. But I do. They say WE have mental health issues....

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, MissCanada. I've been raped three times by three different men, and assaulted twice by two different other men. But never by someone in the helping profession. I had trouble with my psychiatrist initially because he had facial hair. In fact, I guess I came across as so hostile toward him that he initially diagnosed me with a personality disorder as well as PTSD. I was shocked! I was about 47, have been in therapy tons of times, and had never been diagnosed with that before. I saw him a couple of days later and asked why he diagnosed me that way. He told me and then it struck me! His facial hair. Which many of my abusers had. I told him that and apologized. I never meant to come across that way to him and was totally unaware that I did, but his physical appearance just triggered me so much! After that, he agreed I did not have a personality disorder and we've had a great working relationship ever since. I really hope you find a good psychiatrist and therapist!!

 

[Kefira]

I believe you. My first trauma was essentially a small trafficking situation with 4 men and a small number of select clients. Then two physically abusive boyfriends who raped me fairly regularly. My last assault was a date rape at the hands of my most trusted male friend at the time. I reported my very first attack (one of the men involved in the trafficking). The process of reporting was so humiliating and difficult that I never have reported anything else that has occured.

I believe you. And I'm so sorry about the reaction of the police to reporting your psychiatrist. I am with @shimmerz on that- sad that it doesn't surprise me anymore. It's so hard to talk about being a multiple incident survivor. I lost one of my best and oldest friends last year because she decided I had to be lying and wanting attention when I told her about the last rape. Most people seem to assume it just can't be possible.

All my hopes for your healing.

 

[DarkSideOfTheSoul]

That's shocking news @MissCanada....shocking, yet not surprising unfortunately. I've read of a few cases in my area.
Bravo for laying charges, since it will at least be a strike against him with the College of Physicians & Surgeons. Who knows? Perhaps you inspired that other woman to come forward & prevented more from harm..
I wish you all the best in finding a great T.

 

[MissCanada]

Thank you for believing me. And thank you for your shared experiences. As hard as it can be to share them, it's nice to be heard. I'm sorry that you all had hardships as well.