How people have treated me makes me depressed

[NIKI]

I can't stop thinking and crying about how many people have treated me like I was not even a real person with feelings. I have been used in every way possible. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on. Although I have no plans to hurt myself it scares me very much that I even think about it.

 

[Survivor3]

I can't stop thinking and crying about how many people have treated me like I was not even a real person with feelings. I have been used in every way possible. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on. Although I have no plans to hurt myself it scares me very much that I even think about it.

Hello @NIKI im sorry that you feel this way, that must be very difficult to deal with. What would make you feel better at the moment? What would you like to happen for yourself?

 

[NIKI]

Thank you for your reply, Survivor. I appreciate it. I have intrusive thoughts about past abuses, and my emotions are like an out-of-control rollercoaster ride every day. My wish is to find a way to stop reliving the past and just live the present day.

 

[parrotthepolly]

I've been treated as though I don't have feelings too by the parent who raised me and I get similar symptoms as you.

Might as well start appreciating moments without intrusive thoughts cause that is the present.

 

[arfie]

empathy, niki. the worries of how other people do/have treated me remain high octane fuel for my intrusive thoughts, mistrust and hyper vigilance. they are, hands down, my most therapy resistant symptoms. after years of struggling with it, it seems like appreciating the moments @parrotthepolly mentioned are the best i can achieve. sometimes that is plenty.

empathy and gentle support while you find your coping mechanisms. mantras help me considerable.

 

[shimmerz]

I feel like I have lost every friend I ever had. Mixtures of ghosting, out and out agression. It has caused me to see the world and the people in it differently. What I have gained from it is a more conncted internal dialog and fortitude. I know I am doing to very best I can. I know that it is a miracle I am alive through all of my stuff. This helps me have compassion for myself. Having compassion for myself keeps me in the moment. Having compassion for msyelf helps me focus on positive (myself and my self-care and compassion) rather than on others (who I have no control over).

Give yourself some time and focus on whatever it is that will keep you in the moment. That is self care and self compassion. I am sorry, I don't know your story but I expect it has been difficult. Much respect to you for your battles and may you walk into self-love in this new year.

 

[NIKI]

The saddest part is that most times I give more credit and weight to what other people think about me than what I actually know is true about myself.

My days and nights (I wake up often at night with intrusive thoughts) are a roller coaster ride of emotions of losing myself and regaining myself over and over. I cannot stabilize my emotions. I try to think logically but unfortunately for me I am hyperactive with emotions.

I have been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD, and I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I also have Anxious Attachment Style.

 

[NIKI]

I've been treated as though I don't have feelings too by the parent who raised me and I get similar symptoms as you.

Might as well start appreciating moments without intrusive thoughts cause that is the present.

Yes, I try to be more mindful of appreciating anything and everything to be thankful for. The intrusive thoughts are so strong.