Poll How Severe Are Your Ptsd Symptoms Currently?

[Amethyst]

Mine fluctuates. Right now it's very mild. Other than exaggerated startle response, recurring thoughts about that night, and hypervigilance in certain situations (crowded places, clubs, unsafe areas), it's like I don't even have it. For the two weeks prior to this though, it was pretty bad. I had trouble getting out of bed, I had no interest in eating, I wore the same sweater for a week, and I went days without leaving my apartment or interacting with other people.

Lately I feel like my symptoms are either barely there or present in the form of what feels like a depressive episode.

 

[Krisitn]

I have C-PTSD and for the last year my symptoms have rocketed to the point that daily life is barely mana...

I have lived with PTSD for 8 years. I am 30 years old and I just took medical leave of absence from Nursing school. I was 1 semester away from graduating with my bachelors in nursing. I just could not go another day. I feel I have lost a piece of my and my symptoms are far worse than they have ever been. I have never ever in my life, neglected to shower for more than a day, now I will not shower for up to 5 days and I don't change clothes. I barely move around, I get very out of breath just taking a shower. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel broken. I feel as though college took from me the very last of my self esteem. I am angry. 7 years ago I was denied disability, My mother spent a year getting all the paperwork together. And they denied me. I felt stupid for thinking I needed to be on disability. So I tried to become a success. I live in constant fear. Im afraid to leave the house, I cant drive alone in the dark, I cant go outside in the dark, I run from one place to another to get somewhere safe only to remember that my brain is diseased so no physical place can be safe. I live with hypervigilance almost 24/7. I'm often dizzy and nauseated. I have had too many episodes of disassociation. I am completely broken. I got through this last month of contemplating (really tyring to rationally decide) wether or not I should commit suicide. I really have lost all hope that I will die of natural causes. My mind is not my own. I understand your pain and I hope you are free from it as soon as possible. Even, if only, for a break.

 

[J'qel]

I refused to acknowledge my therapist's diagnosis and her request that I get more help and consider medication when I could have. I held on until I shattered into tiny broken pieces. Dieties and scientific principles bless my husband, he helped my broken self get to the help I desperately needed.

Now I'm back trying to learn how to bring myself back into life without risking another major breakdown. Most days I stay inside and sometimes pop online. Bad days I stay in a room and read. I'm getting slowly better, but the wrong social situation can leave me shaking and emotionally all over the place for a couple days. I still get way too involved trying to help people who may not even want to be helped. I still feel obligated to rush to assist, but I can at least stop and say no now. I can realize when a situation isn't good for me, and I can do so with only minimal guilt.

I don't go out much, but people come by regularly, and that's good. I don't have many bad days, but I don't really have good days much either. It's still probably a two to one ratio, but that's much better than it was. I self medicate with alcohol much less-though I was never very bad for it, but worse than I should have been.

I'm starting to set boundaries now, and that's good. I'm trying to get to the point where I can see my life outside my house. Then the next step will be working towards it. I still can't drive, just getting behind the wheel makes me shake uncontrollably.

One step at a time, I'm trying to put myself back together. It's a long work and I should have listened, but I didn't want to be broken, I didn't want to be on meds and I didn't want that stigma. Now I'm paying for it. At least with that, I know that I won't let that mistake happen again.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

I knew i had ptsd since I was 12 at least, since I went through lots of trauma since I was 4. And when I was 16, I guess it just started to coast for a bit, with waves hitting me a few times a year for a few weeks at a time.

But right in the middle of my employment at an abattoir a couple years ago, it started skyrocketing. To the point of hearing pigs around me screeching in terror, just knowing what's next. I'd wake up to that sound, or flinch from the thought of getting trampled by a boar. That happened to me one time and the electric stunner got pushed within inches of my face.

Now I got trauma from my childhood and now previous employment. So you could say things are getting pretty serious.

 

[Fadeaway]

I would be a lot better right now if I could just get some sleep. it's been a few days.

 

[marblemaze]

Moderate right now, fortunately.

 

[whiteraven]

moderate, but the depression is severe

 

[One step at a time]

The only consistent thing about it.... is that it varies wildly. Right now, I move between "moderate" and "severe" several times per week (and sometimes day or hour). Might be time to dial down the external stressors.

 

[Angelwings]

I have C-PTSD and for the last year my symptoms have rocketed to the point that daily life is barely mana...

I'm changing meds right now and having days with flashbacks that won't stop or days that disappear completely and I don't remember a darn thing. I do my best to function but if I have to send my son away for a day it's okay, because I won't feel this way forever.

 

[Fadeaway]

Better than yesterday. Nightmares have been bad though. Hubby recognized I was having flashbacks today before I realized where I was at. He calls it the 8 mile stare. Helped me recognize something was a trigger I didn't make the connection with before.