How To Decide When To Take Occasional Medication (diazepam)

[Hashi]

Thanks, Only 1 of me. I have to wait a week for an appointment! But I'm calmer now after having a bit of crisis.

Abstract, I might have been unclear. My area has zero outpatient services (unless you're being supervised for a medication-managed condition like schizophrenia). They've produced a list of counselling charities that they hand out to people instead. I suppose they might do something if I threatened suicide but I don't want to do that, and I suspect I'd probably just get the charity list again, together with the Samaritans phone number.

Different doctor would be too difficult, for various reasons. Thanks for the thought, anyway.

Muse, thank you. I wouldn't actually be at risk of addiction because it's only to take occasionally. Even if I get some extra, it still wouldn't be enough to get addicted - less than one a week I expect. If I thought that was a risk, I would want to look at other alternatives. It's not a risk though, it's just my doctor being inflexible. Hopefully I'll get a small additional amount.

 

[Abstract]

Really sorry to hear that Hashi. One would think they would refer you to NHS facilities that are nearest but there you go. Quite frightening that there is nothing. I have to say that I can't recall the ins and outs of my past experiences as it is all such a blur.

I am assuming you have tried the charity swap as well. I was once given a 10 month wait and then found somewhere else for 3 weeks later. What might make that even more difficult for you is that traveling will be very expensive and not something you have the finances for. Especially if you are coming into London from outside zone 6. :(

And I am all talk as have great sympathy for not seeing a different dr. I can't even get myself to see mine at present.

Excuse the suggestions. I have no doubt you had thought of it all. Just wanted to throw it out there just in case!

Good luck and let us know how it goes. I am sure he will recognise that you are more than capable of being sensible with meds.

 

[warathome]

I am at the point in my life where it is unhealthy for me to be miserable within my anxiety. So I take Ativan openly. I do not hide the fact that I need this medication at times. And it is ok.

I get so tired of anti med people telling me how awful it is to take any meds. Well I will tell you what, it is awful to live inside my own head with all this anxiety, eating me from the inside out.

I refuse to feel guilty anymore because anti-med people think they have walked in my shoes. Haven't I suffered enough by living through these traumas and living with the aftermath, PTSD? Can't I have some relief now?

Together with my doc and therapist, we all decided that yes, I can.

 

[heidi]

I don't think it's right that benzos are not recommended for people with PTSD due to the addiction nature. PTSD is such a severe disorder that if anyone can take seriously the risk for the benefit it's these sufferers. It also drives me CRAZY that there doesn't seem to be an understanding of the differences between addiction and dependency. Dependency occur when the drug is taken every day. It's physical, not psychological. A person with PTSD might have to go through a lot of stress if they chose to withdrawal from the medical. I think that should be the true concern. If you have side effects from the medication, you might not be able to stop taking the medication without a fight, and your body/mind might not be able to handle the fight.

Just drives me crazy. It's dependency that's the potential concern, not addiction!!

Not talking to anyone here. I just think the medical community doesn't properly understand.

 

[just me here]

I can understand both sides of this argument as I have been on both sides of it. There were times that the stresses were too much for me to handle and I have medicated to get by, the first times being when I was undiagnosed and the drugs were alcohol and marijuana. Later, (after a diagnosis of depression) I set out on a long rollercoaster ride with every SSRI and off label psyco drug in the pharmacy. I was finally given Benzos and thought I had found a legal, effective drug at long last.

The side effects of the benzo were not immediately apparant but eventually the lack of energy was tearing me down too much and I asked to be put on something else. I should say here that I am also being medicated for a long term problem with my gut caused by a traumatic injury and scar tissue from several surgeries, and that the vicadin I was on became an addiction and I went to a non-opiate pain med instead. At some point I also realised that the benzo's were no longer worth the low energy levels and asked to be taken off of them as well.

Withdrawal has been hell. Don't take that lightly, when I say hell I mean HELL. I have kicked alcohol, marijuana, tobacco, codeine and vicadin and now Klonopin and I know about withdrawals. Even though I never thought of Klonopin as being a "feel good" drug, I definitely feel horrible without it. All the other drugs enticed me to come back to the euphoria they offered (tobacco being an exception). Benzo's only offered a respite from the stress of daily life with PTSD and no euphoric feelings at all, but the pull back was a hundred times greater. Again, don't take that lightly. Obviously a hundred times greater is an arbitrary unmeasureable value, but accurate in that it had to have been more than 10 times and less than 1000 times as hard. It was harder than Chinese algebra, it was harder than roller derby in converse all stars, it was HARD with a capitol RRRRRR.

I can't imagine how much worse it would have been had I taken the drug "as needed" and felt a real difference between a day on the drug and a day off of it. My use was always a daily dose so I was never really aware of a marked difference other than the initial feeling that I had finally been prescribed something that worked.

When I was withdrawing, I only had to deal with feeling lousy because I was no longer taking the klonopin. It would have been much harder if I had to deal with the desire to go back on and feel the "good" effects of the drug too. I was very aware of the idea that going back on, even at a low dose for just a day, would have made it much harder to continue the withdrawal afterwards.

Yes, a life of addiction and withdrawals is better than a life cut short by suicide or horribly effected by stress on the body. But even better than a life of addiction and withdrawals is a life of using a less addictive drug to fight the effects of stress.

We are all different and doctors bring their own professional experiences with them to the mix so we will never hammer out an argument that applies to everyone or every course of treatment. FOR ME, benzo's may have been a good thing at first but fairly quickly lost their effects and became (at best) a balance between lack of energy and diminished anxiety. Withdrawals were truly awful and still are a negative, months after starting the reduction.

I would place a high negative value on the possibility of addiction (or dependency) on the drug when considering the pros and cons in your particular situation. Thats all I got. Hope it helps someone make a more enlightened decision.

 

[Hashi]

I don't think it's right that benzos are not recommended for people with PTSD due to the addiction nature.

Saying addiction rather than dependency is completely my fault. The UK National Health Service does talk about risk of dependency, not addictiveness. It was me who wasn't making a distinction.

Sorry I took that in the wrong direction.

I appreciate your post, and just me here's.

Having hopefully clarified the issue with the addictiveness/dependency thing, I'd like to emphasise also that I don't have any concerns that I'll become dependent. There are reasons for this, but those aren't relevant to go into because that's my doctor's concern (about any patient) but definitely not a risk for me.

My concern was/is how to eke out my tiny supply.

Since I first posted this, I've managed to get some more from my doctor. I've also managed to take only 3 half-doses spread over the last two months. I was very glad of them, and relieved to feel that I have enough to do that when things are at their worst. Just knowing they're there reduces my stress a little.