Relationship how to get back with him?

[nhoq]

we have been together for two years exactly outside of our marriages. he told me he has PTSD, depression, and taking one pill a day for depression recently. we both feel the same in the marriage, suffocated, trapped, because of the kids, we stay in our own marriage. lately this half year, I found him has signs of ED, I am not sure because he bored of me or have some one new behind my back. I got the the point about 7 weeks ago asked him where we are heading to, if there is future, or should we continue to see each other. he said we should continue. and I asked him if he still find out attract to him as before? he said yes, but he is on his depression medications and effect his sex drive. after that, he did not initiated any contact to me in one month. I texted hime couple times in 5 week and asked him out for meet up, he respond politely and said he has been very depressed and reserved, still but did not follow up on meet up until now 7 weeks. he has not official end out relationship yet. during those two years, he was the one initiate contact 99% of the time and set up meet up places dinner, games, hotel. I am not sure how to save this and get him open up to me again, at lease to see him in person? or might be we are already over, or he might be seeing someone else and loss interested on me?

 

[Friday]

1. This >>> My ptsd partner left me - now what?


2. If sex it’s important to you in a relationship?

- Depression kills sex drive.
- Antidepressants kill sex drive.

If you need to partner with someone with a high sex drive? Baseline libido killers are a red flag.

He’s already stepping out on his marriage with you, so durn may well be stepping out on you with someone else. That’s a very legit concern.

The overwhelming majority of relationships end at 6mo. (Who made it to the second date, the overwhelming majority of those, don’t). As the honeymoon period ends, and shit gets real. The overwhelming majority of thooooooose relationships who survived 6mo? Die at 2-3 years, when the happy-happy brain chem ends. The next curb stomp is 7 years. 2 dates. 6mo. 2-3 years. 7 years. You’re smack dab in the middle of a natural ending. Statistically speaking.


3. How to save what you HAD? Likely impossible. As it requires the thrill/danger of both of you stepping out, plus removing all the “normal/serious” life problems (like depression & meds), because you’re not sexy/exciting/distracting/deliciously new anymore.

Statistically? As he’s a cheater, rather than ending things with you, before moving on… he’s prolly moved on. For someone new, with new thrill, new distraction, new allure.

As you’re also a cheater… is your concern HIM, himself, or how you’ve lost his enthusiasm & looking for skills to keep attention past a floodgate?…Also???…Is that reeeeeally what you want? To get to the next level? Or is it a matter of pride, that you’ve lost his fixation?

***

Of course, very very veeeeeeery little of this has to do with PTSD, unless damaged is your “type”, and where your skills of fascination are strongest. If you’re deliberately, or unconsciously, attracting those with PTSD? There ARE some mileposts to learn.