Relationship How To Help A Loved One With Ptsd

[Sweetpea76]

Maybe he can agree to turn the phone off long enough to watch a movie uninterrupted, or go out to eat.

 

[catlover26]

I wish he would but he has a 97 year old aunt and 94 year old mother in the nursing home. Back in our 'Newlywed' romantic days he was turning the phone off some but he just won't do it now. And we used to go out to eat when we first started dating but that stopped in October or so. I think he might have been pushing himself to do some things he was uncomfortable with doing. Although I know he will go to Burger King by himself sometimes but besides that I don't think he eats out in a restaurant anymore. He has been going through a lot of fatigue from not sleeping well and says the VA is not really helping. I am going with him to his next appt next month which is about 2 hours away. At least it will be one way I can spend some time with him.

 

[catlover26]

I went over there earlier last night and we did have some nice uninterrupted time for almost an hour without the TV on. That was nice.

He just really odd when it comes to planning things. It would be better to spend some time during the day but he likes to stay on a schedule if he has to mow the grass etc. Or he won't plan things ahead of time. Maybe it is just his weird way of doing things but he thinks something will happen to mess up his plans. But I still think we could go somewhere. I told him it didn't matter what we did. He has had a lot going on that has overwhelmed him and I think he is now finding it too easy to tell me no. I have thought if I had the guts I would not go see him for a while. But I don't want to do that to our relationship. I don't have any friends here where I live. So it is a very had thing to be by myself all the time.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It sounds like maybe he does need to learn to compromise some. If he doesn't want to go out, he can at least be present when you visit. You are making all the concessions now, he can make one or two.

Like maybe tell his mother and aunt he is having a date tonight and see if they need anything BEFORE you get there. They would probably like him to have a nice evening. Perhaps the other upset elderly lady can make it for an hour or two on her own if she is in a nursing home.

Also, if you guys can't go out on dates, you can plan special "at home" dates... like a dvd film festival, or inside picnic. Or find an inside activity you both like... puzzles, board games, cards.

 

[catlover26]

We do tend to watch some shows and sometimes a movie together. It has just recently got worse with this lady calling him. He likes to play scrabble and we used to play some cards so I can see if we can try those again. Thankfully this past week he has not been as depressed. And he became a little more affectionate. So those are better signs.

Sweetpea, I really appreciate you 'talking' to me as much as you do. I do love and care about him alot. I worry about him because he does have some health issues and sleeping problems that don't seem to be getting better.

 

[Sweetpea76]

No problem @catlover26 ... I know what it is like to be worried and not know what to do. I still get worried and don't what to do half the time too :confused: