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General How to mentally heal?

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abandon455

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i was with a ptsd sufferer for a few years and things used to be wonderful and but within the past two months she broke things off. i figured she would leave after but she doesint she hints at getting back together then starts a fight and says this is why i can't be around! she push's my buttons to get me to react the when i do she plays victim. she makes snide rude remarks and if i ask about anything it's none of my business , or why does it matter... she will be on Facebook but ignore my messages for a day almost on purpose. she blames me for how she feels, how she acts and says I'm the one with anger problems. she openly tells me she doesint want to see me or call me and if i said hi to her when i see her on campus she would tell me leave her alone. if i say i love you or let's work on it she just goes okay and ignores me for a day or picks a argument. when i tell her all she's doing is pushing me away and she goes it's not pushing you away it's time and space to heal! or you made me leave and that's not how the world works you can't be mean and expect them to stay ( even though it was something from a year ago). she constantly brings up and quotes negative things from the past and throws them in my face. and when i react she just goes see this is why i'm not around why can't you be nice to me is that so hard? i'll bring up wanting normal conversations and she will go i am but you keep starting these fights again "my fault". she tells me i have anger issues and i have problems when she's the one cussing and avoiding me and being snarky. if i tell her i feel like you don't feel like you love me or care, she says i do it's unfair that you say that just because i left and won't put up with your anger issues.

it's just mentally taxing and it's made me emtionally numb doing this day after day and it makes me want to rip my hair out, like i care but i'm tired of the battles and tired of hearing how nothing is my buisness. how it's my fault, how were not partners anymore but she stills sticks around. how she wants nothing to do with me basically but still contacts me via text. how she sits on Facebook but ignores me. how i pour my heart out to get shot down. how do i handle this or emotionally heal because it is taxing on me mentally. it's taxing caring and loving someone who seems to verbally and act like i don't matter. says how angry and awful i am but then i ask why does she still talk to me (she says it's because she still loves me and cares she just can't be around my "anger") if i'm really just this terrible to her and she does int want me around? how i heal mentally from this or handle it becaus eit has affected me mentally.
 
Who knows? It could be a mental health issue, or it could be her personality.

Does it matter why? She's treating you like garbage and making you feel terrible. Doesn't sound like a good situation for you.
 
How can i heal from it? It makes me afraid to trust and makes my complex ptsd worse because i’m paranoid of people turning on me. So my mind screams hide run from the world!!!
 
I ended up saying something mean and blew because i couldint take it anymore. She ended up going haha i knew you had anger issues and are cruel.
 
I blew uo due to the constant critisism. I just couldint take it. I said something awful and i feel bad but part of me doesint care
 
Why are you letting her play you like this?

At some point you have to take responsibility for yourself and not keep jumping into the lions den...
 
i blew up and don't think shes coming back anyway. i lost my handle and said alot of hurtful things. don't know if i should feel bad or not but i did. i just felt overwhelmingly angry.
 
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