How to Not Mess With a Kid's Childhood

[Tinyflame]

Who am I to say or know, but she has her own personality, and inclinations, too. I'm sorry if I missed her age.

I think it's important for a child to get to be a child, and helps if they 'feel' their parent has a handle on stuff- is a parent, versus a peer. (Which doesn't mean perfect parenting; in fact, saying you're sorry if warranted is important, too, I think). So also respect, and fun, and listening. Asking what she thinks and truly listening.

I agree with what @scout86 said above.

I think it sounds like your'e doing a great job. :hug:

 

[TTC18]

That sounds like a great idea. My little one is a really good listener - at least at this point, pre-puberty, lol.. If we disagree, we discuss. If it's really necessary (brushing teeth, for instance, or practicing math, etc) I say something along the lines of - I know you don't enjoy this, but it's necessary, and here's why.... - and there hasn't been a time yet when I said - sorry, this is how it has to be - that she didn't accept it and move on. If it's not absolutely necessary, I'm open to negotiation, as long as she sticks with her side of the deal. Say we agree that she doesn't have to eat the steak for dinner tonight if she'll eat her turkey sandwich for lunch tomorrow without complaining. When tomorrow comes, she says her first, 'oh, a turkey sandwich' with a sad expression, and I catch her eye and say, 'Boy that steak was good last night, it's a shame you didn't get to taste it.' And she stops. Picks up her sandwich, and eats it. LOL. Lots of battles over food. I'm trying to walk the line between not making her eat stuff she doesn't like, and not letting her sit and eat junk food all the time - with a healthy helping of not wanting to turn our kitchen into an 'order up!' restaurant. I let her make meals - and that helps a lot, because if she fixes it, she'll eat it, lol. Anyway - thanks so much for commenting. :)

 

[blackemerald1]

because if she fixes it, she'll eat it, lol.

^^This is so true!! Good instincts there.

Aside from this there is a lot of math's, co-ordination, planning and science in cooking and bonus its a dam handy life skill to have.

Both my children started doing things in the kitchen when young (because they had to) and helped decide and make their own food.

I think there are a lot of skills that happen quite naturally when you have a inclusive mindset with children.

 

[MyWillow]

You don’t have to be perfect. Good enough is ok. Support her sense of self and self esteem. But above all, keep her feeling and being safe. Don’t turn your back when she’s not.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I think being believed; being included; being asked for input on problems; having the opportunity to tell the truth, that is: to know they'll be less consequences for telling the truth than lying or hiding, post mistakes, or perhaps to better say yes, consequences, but not anger to tell the truth, well I think those are Big ones. And take years of just, relationship. JMHO though.