How To Recover From Toxic Family Holiday Visit

[ladee]

In all honesty, I can't think of one thing about doing my healing work that wasn't hard.
I know going no contact was the best thing for me. Recently went no contact with my son. Am feeling better everyday.
I know my real healing work did not begin until I stopped going into the viper pit and having to work so hard all over again.
No nothing easy about it. Nor is volunteering to be their victim.
I call it 'picking my pain'.
One stays the same, the other has relief and healing.
Gentle hugs. This healing thing takes more courage than we ever knew we had.

 

[Tinyflame]

Well. I just got told by my sister that I 'ruined her Christmas & it was her worst one ever", and.. I wasn't even there-?-! Zero time together, except for her to make up with her bf, and to reply on eggshells positively to a few texts.

Merry Christmas. :(:tdown::sorry::meh:

 

[Ronin]

I just got told by my sister that I 'ruined her Christmas & it was her worst one ever"

Sister's in for an interesting surprise with many bad Christmases to come yet, if she's got that low bar.

& Wow, you'd be rather capable, ruining anything soo much in your inpresence. That takes skill.

(Aka: You so haven't and she can suck it. I'm just sarcastic to point out her reasoning is damned stupid. It's not meant to be cruel but I'm not sure of words / tone / anything verbal at damned all so adding an explanation line.)

 

[bring em all in]

Hello everyone!

Happy holidays and all that :) ;).

I've just got back from a draining few days with...

My wife and I visited her toxic parents for three hours yesterday and we are both wiped out by it. Luckily, I had an appointment with my therapist scheduled for today. Talking about it with her helped a lot. I'm trying to be gentle with myself today and be supportive of my wife. I wish there was a great strategy we all could use in these situations.

Maybe others will post their solutions.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

My Lord! What an awful Christmas! I disowned my biological family 5 years ago and haven't looked back. Every year it gets difficult until I remind myself WHY I don't communicate with them. However, in saying that, look at the triggers and back away a little at a time or all the way. This time of the year is horrid on everyone as it is so emotional. You're in my prayers.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Ronin . Does not make me angry, but what's the word- disprited? Hard when not feeling of value to begin with. I did ask her later if she really meant that.

 

[heyheyhey]

Thanks everyone, I've been home for three days now and feeling a lot better. Bloody awful though lol, I like my life away from them and am in a really good place right now from the therapy I am doing *touch wood*. First time in a while I have actually felt happy. Thank you for all your kindness and understanding ^^, it has helped me feel better :). Sorry to all of you who had a crappy Christmas as well <3

 

[Panda Bear]

Sadly, I don't see my biological family(aside from my brother) at holidays...or at all any more. I realize it's not the answer for everyone, so for that....I'm incredibly sorry. The fall out from toxic family visits can be horrific.

 

[journeyofone]

Ha! I ditched the entire family and had The Best Christmas Ever! Made myself a small chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes. During the day I went out hiking with an activity group and a movie. It's not for everyone to disown their family but I will no longer tolerate the negativity and ignorance and allow them to treat me like an idiot. Hope your 2017 is a better year!