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:P Wierd aunts, funny aunts
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Childhood How Young Shd We Teach Kids About Inappropriate Touching?
- Post starter Sideways
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
Unfortunately we cannot rely on the rest of the world to keep us (or ours) safe. It would be nice, but in the end will never be reality. People must be educated about the truths of an unsafe world. There will always be predators out there. Those who are knowledgeable will be two steps ahead of the game.
Heather
Diamond Member
@EveHarrington I'm not sure if you're trying to be helpful because what you said just made me feel worse.
I've been talking with my son about this since he was born. So many people think it's ok to just walk up and touch a baby that they don't even know. People will go up to a baby in the store and squeeze the baby's thighs. I think that is so awful, because it tells the baby that they have no control over who touches them and where they are touched. People would never walk up to a strange adult and start groping their thighs. So, since my son was born, I have been reminding people that they must be respectful about touch, and reminding my son that he has a right to personal space with his body. He is 2 now, and I tell him that it's ok if he doesn't want to kiss grandma, and also that he must ask before he touches other kids (he really loves to give hugs to other kids). By this, I'm hoping to convey to him that there must always be mutual consent for all touching. Our conversation will change and develop as he gets older.
NightFury1
New Here
I taught children that where a bathing suit would cover was their private body. Except when I or other trusted caregivers were bathing the, etc. For me, I was able to help them have personal boundaries with age appropriate sex ed.
Pretty sure she was trying to be helpful.
They do need to know about inappropriate stuff, and they need to know and to feel that they can tell someone without worrying that they'll be blamed, shamed or suffer adverse consequences. All to often members here have experienced massive SHTF when they've confided. At least one member has shared how she ended up in a local authority children's home and accused of lying about her brother abusing her.
Actually, what Eve wrote didn't make you feel worse. Anthony explains why it didn't here: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/criticism-is-it-them-or-you.49588/
digger
Sponsor
And here lies one of the biggest difficulties in teaching children these things I think. It is relatively easy to explain that 'private' areas are those covered by a bathing suit. How you educate children to differentiate between who is trustworthy and who isn't is a whole nother thing.
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That's not a weird perspective
I only wish that my mother had been sceptical or even hostile to quacks, and had had a stronger "won't!"
instead she was and still is highly susceptible to seeking the approval of people she believes have authoritah*
with hindsight, I think that over half of my interactions with quacks had adverse outcomes for me, including setting me on the path to ending up here.
________________________________________
*authoritah; Cartman will now explain the ridiculous idea of authoritah
The topic isn't easy...
First I'm not sure you can as for a parent as an outsider you can interfere anything which the parent choosing to teach for them kids- they will find it attacking and if you just go first on that... Is kind of sounds for them you are questioning them parenting.
My approach would be in that case talk about your things and your understanding - you need to open up what happened with you - I mean towards the parent not to the kids.
And from that on she will be - normal reaction - obviously shocked, but after the parent should know she/he can talk about that with you - you can talk about your concerns and feelings on the time - which would be a huge help to the parents.
Most of all I think with that the problem is the openness will be shattered, just because you talk about these things with the kids that will not protect them at all. Which as a parent you need to make sure is the kid knows what ever he/she will do wrong or have any doubt openly without judgement they can come and talk about it. And with that the problem most of the parent talk about that to the kids, where they make the mistake is they usually talk about as an outsider attacker not a family member, or a person who's the family is trusting.when most of the cases 90% is happening inside of the family.which makes it more difficult for the kid to talk about it or either process it at all on the time.
Now my sisters and brothers knows my story - told them before they even have a kid... To a friend of mine helped with that... She was concerned after we watched a movie and we talked about these things, she never asked what happened with me but she know something is happened with me.and because of that I met with her collague's daughter who had that issue ... Her mum was incredibly great and we could help her as soon as possible (the attacker was the uncle) - I think the point is in that case to make sure and teach the kid they can trust in you - you will not judge them and openly they can talk about whatever they can .and second of all you neither would say to the kid to be shamed of if its happens with her/him .then you neither can be ashamed of what happened with you.otherwise kids pretty clever they will note that, maybe they don't have the vocabularies for it, but they will copy your reaction and shame.
Unfortunately you can't teach that, you can't really protect kids always from that, but you need to and try your best for it.
The best way to start is to look up the different developmental stages of the kids and according to that build it in your teachings, but obviously you need to consider the kids own personality too.
You can put a scheme on every x years old an y teaching, you need to understand the kid observation, concerns and deep personality. The point is to always attention and more it the kid is developing constantly in rapid speed.
If you are blind to that you can't teach it properly.
And I never liked that sentence when adults telling go down to the kids level - wrong approach - they just don't have the vocabularies and experience on things. For example that can be a good thing as an approach to make exercises with the kids when they don't know about something and try to describe it... Obviously I'm not saying throw the person in a deep water to swim, without knowledge.
I think you need the approach - I did that with my friends daughter - how would you describe you cut your leg but you don't have/know the word leg- blood-cut... ??
Hope that's helpful.
First I'm not sure you can as for a parent as an outsider you can interfere anything which the parent choosing to teach for them kids- they will find it attacking and if you just go first on that... Is kind of sounds for them you are questioning them parenting.
My approach would be in that case talk about your things and your understanding - you need to open up what happened with you - I mean towards the parent not to the kids.
And from that on she will be - normal reaction - obviously shocked, but after the parent should know she/he can talk about that with you - you can talk about your concerns and feelings on the time - which would be a huge help to the parents.
Most of all I think with that the problem is the openness will be shattered, just because you talk about these things with the kids that will not protect them at all. Which as a parent you need to make sure is the kid knows what ever he/she will do wrong or have any doubt openly without judgement they can come and talk about it. And with that the problem most of the parent talk about that to the kids, where they make the mistake is they usually talk about as an outsider attacker not a family member, or a person who's the family is trusting.when most of the cases 90% is happening inside of the family.which makes it more difficult for the kid to talk about it or either process it at all on the time.
Now my sisters and brothers knows my story - told them before they even have a kid... To a friend of mine helped with that... She was concerned after we watched a movie and we talked about these things, she never asked what happened with me but she know something is happened with me.and because of that I met with her collague's daughter who had that issue ... Her mum was incredibly great and we could help her as soon as possible (the attacker was the uncle) - I think the point is in that case to make sure and teach the kid they can trust in you - you will not judge them and openly they can talk about whatever they can .and second of all you neither would say to the kid to be shamed of if its happens with her/him .then you neither can be ashamed of what happened with you.otherwise kids pretty clever they will note that, maybe they don't have the vocabularies for it, but they will copy your reaction and shame.
Unfortunately you can't teach that, you can't really protect kids always from that, but you need to and try your best for it.
The best way to start is to look up the different developmental stages of the kids and according to that build it in your teachings, but obviously you need to consider the kids own personality too.
You can put a scheme on every x years old an y teaching, you need to understand the kid observation, concerns and deep personality. The point is to always attention and more it the kid is developing constantly in rapid speed.
If you are blind to that you can't teach it properly.
And I never liked that sentence when adults telling go down to the kids level - wrong approach - they just don't have the vocabularies and experience on things. For example that can be a good thing as an approach to make exercises with the kids when they don't know about something and try to describe it... Obviously I'm not saying throw the person in a deep water to swim, without knowledge.
I think you need the approach - I did that with my friends daughter - how would you describe you cut your leg but you don't have/know the word leg- blood-cut... ??
Hope that's helpful.
lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
@Ragdoll Circus (I havent read any replies); try this site:
http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/He...Children-what-they-should-learn-and-when.aspx
http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/He...Children-what-they-should-learn-and-when.aspx
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Not my intention to make you feel worse. I was speaking the truth in that we must protect ourselves first. We cannot rely on others to keep us safe. There are many predators in the educational system, religious organizations, and even in the police! These are all deemed to be so called safe places but we cannot fool ourselves into believing that even safe places will always have our best interests at heart. We must be aware of who we are associating with.
Education and knowledge will keep one ahead of the game. Knowledge is always power (compared to lack of knowledge).
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