How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[Deleted member 93]

My day bit big hairy butts. I am feeling a bit more relaxed finally. I figure I would be stuck up all night again so sent hubs to a red box to get me some cheesy movies, I watched all my netfix last night and have to mail them off before they resend. By the way that twisted one I heard about in chat is in my que for next shipment. All the reviews say hard to watch and does sound messed up so me and my twisted curiosity has to see if I can... And since netflix carries forgien and independent films I looked to see if they had it.

Feeling better after confrontation with the monster earlier but hubs came past me and shoved the gun back in the cushion beside me. OK, it is not a security blanket. I did not get it back out. I am thinking hubs is picking up a vibe I am not. I was out there with the monster for only a moment as he insisted on me coming out, hubs was trying to get him to leave, and he would not. Hindsight... If the F*er would not leave my home when hubs told him to I should have just called the police to remove him instead of going out to tell him so myself. I did not need to do that to myself. But in such a high state of panic the mind just doesn't seem to fire right or think rationally.

I have been reading and hubs has been in the book now. Guess trying to get a better perspective.

He did say he did not understand why I was so upset when nothing happened. I just looked at him like he was crazy. How in the hell do I not get that way? I mean I freak out just going in public or through his town, but to have him just show on my doorstep is not expected to send me a bit for a loop? I mean we were borderline hospital trip if I had not dived in the meds. And I am still working on dealing with going to the grocer and bookstore at the same time recovering from that. I just hope I do not nose dive this coming week.

Kim, you take it easy on yourself! I guess you will be getting a lot of validation which will be good, but so much at once has to be hard. Be good to yourself, and Warren you give a little extra TLC! Good luck to both of you on the rest of your trip.

And Nam, yeah, I can see how that can be the "bible" it is getting some stuff out there for me and making me see patterens of abuse where I did not even percieve it, God I am so messed up that I did not even see it... Now I need to try to look into brainwashing... Long day, long night and another ahead.

All the rest please be easy on yourself and take care of yourselves!

 

[goingonhope]

Hard to remember day at this hour. Mixed emotions. This morning, who knows, this afternoon went fairly well bathed and dressed-up children and they went to halloween B'day party with mother of daughter's friend, so husb. and I had some free-time to do work. We don't talk much lately, he feels overwhelmed, works much and is going on his 4th day without cigg. Pers. I'm withdrawn a lot lately, hate thinking about people I don't even like, namely the family that made life impossible, those of the past. Feel like why should they have a mom. of my time in thought after all their sh*#. :cussing: Feel like they own me. Discouraged this evening.

 

[anthony]

Veiled, I am a bit lost. Who turned up on your doorstep out of the blue?

 

[Deleted member 93]

The ex who tried to kill me.

 

[Jet]

So far today has been pretty good. I cleaned the ferret cage and Boa tank. Bathed the dog. In a few minutes I am going to go upstairs, cook a pizza, grab the chips and watch the football game. As long as the Hawks win it's all good.

Oh....before I forget. Veiled, hang in there. Forget restraunts and the grocery store. You are dealing with the biggest "trigger" out there. You will make it past this. Have faith in yourself and know that you are in my prayers. Blessings to you and your family.

 

[goingonhope]

Succeeded in getting to church this morning with husb. and children. Enjoyed it very much as children behaved very well. Daughter had friend over. Husb. watched Patriots game and napped 2 hrs. I did some reading and basic. did not much more. Avoided my husb. as he's still only days away from cigg's. Tired today which makes life stressful when kids have so much to say, so many ideas and plans and I have difficulty keeping up with their energy levels. Got babysitter and got out briefly tonight with my husband.

 

[cookie]

i made it through this day! now if i can make it to school tomorrow on time, it will be good. got a little sleep the last 2 nights, so it'll prob be another wk now. today was a surprise pastor's appreciation, it was good to see the children doing skits, etc. and my husband smiling--he deserves it!

 

[GR-ass]

Last couple of days were interesting.

Record for me, three panic attacks yesterday, not sure what triggered them apart from being stuck at home with bro dearest.

Okay, that is enough explaining. I know what triggered them.Ummm, today had an appointment with my social worker, she thinks that I'm getting the information side of things. Next appointment in a month.

 

[wildfirewildone]

Really Crap!!!

:eek: I made 2 entries in my private PTSD Trauma diary....I still feel like I am going nowhere in my recovery....feeling very isolated and alone:cuckoo: ....I feel like sleeping all the time....I only have 4 &1/2 days to finish my unpacking before an inspection....I have dishes to wash and laundry to do also...trying to get myself going seems impossible....then Hayley was wheezing last night....I wish she would stay well.....KEEPING THE PEACE

 

[Nam]

Went to an awesome wedding yesterday and danced my heart out!

 

[lumberjack]

my days have been brighter since going of my meds. I finally got the nerve to ask if it would be ok to take my nephew to a movie. We went and saw open season and i laughed for the first time in along time. It was a great day

 

[Jet]

Well, let's see. The Hawks lost yesterday. I worked all night and I am still awake. I did get about an hour and a half. I feel special. Ok, really I am tired and cranky.

When I said I was going off to bed a friend said that I looked tired and probably would have no trouble falling asleep. I think I kind of snapped at her when I said "tired? of course I am tired. What the hell does that have to do with falling asleep?"