How's Your Day Been? Each Day is Different, So Make Your Mark Daily

[becvan]

Well, it was a rough night and day.. I couldn't sleep a wink.. started having severe anxiety attacks around 2 am and they lasted until noon today.. went to a buddy's house around 6 am.. just for physical presence saftey thing to try and calm down.. didn't work.. I should have gone to the hospital and I know it.. It was bad. I finally got around 2 hours of sleep this afternoon. So far no attacks and I'm emotionally and physically exhausted so maybe I will sleep tonight. If I'm in the same shape tomorrow, i'm calling in sick to work and hunting down my doc.. this is nuts..

Wild: I wished it worked, I'm just so far beyond that point at this moment.. Tis truly sad..

Thank you everyone for all the love and support.. I come here just for that right now.. I still haven't asked anyone to come.. but I will. I like the army idea. LOL. The fact that this ass will be someone elses problem made me smile. One foot in front of the other...

I'm living day by day... and making it..

Bec

 

[cookie]

someone here, Please pray for me. I'm mostly afraid of not coming too from it. ...and I want so much to do so bc I have so much to live for. My husb. and kids, I love them so, and they need me.

praying, hope for your surgery, and your fear. let us know when you are home.
cathy

 

[goingonhope]

Thank you cathy...and I will let you know.

 

[nov_silence]

Goingonhope,

I will be thinking about you tomorrow. Be brave!

 

[goingonhope]

Lots and lots of hugs for you tonight, bec. Counting on sleep for you soon...like now...You'll get through this, I know you will and sorry you feel so alone in it all right now. Please ask someone to go with you...like right away...and I'll be pulling for and thinking of you.

sincerely, goingonhope

 

[nov_silence]

Really emotionally worn. I allowed myself to spiral a good ways down this weekend. Just being really hard on myself. Hubbie and I a good but hard hard talk this afternoon. We both cried. He cries very rarely. I took much comfort in his vulnerability and that helped me be even more present.

Still have the urge to quell the hurt with hurt.

Hubbie and I went out and did healthy food shopping. I am trying not be so negative about my body image.

Can't sleep.

 

[GR-ass]

curls up and hides.

Want to cut, want to cry.

Feeling like I'm caught in a corner and being attacked. Really can't wait till I can get away from here. So sick of feeling like I'm getting the brunt of everyone elses anger all the time.

I feel as if i can never be good enough for my parents to be proud of me. I don't know how to express how I'm feeling to them without it coming out anf hurting them. I never want to hurt them.

 

[Marlene]

Still on the up and down teeter-totter right now. I don't know why, but mornings seem to be the worst. After lunch I feel a lot better. Have no freakin' clue why.

Got another massage today (trying to do at least one a month to work those damn tight muscles). She got 90% of that knot that's been between my shoulder blades for two weeks now. Yeah!

My emotions feel like they're about a quarter of an inch below the surface and all it takes is one little bump to get them pouring out. I guess this is what happens when you open the floodgates on purpose. Although I feel much better after a good cry. :crybaby:

 

[cookie]

had a pretty good day. having a lot of esophogeal spasms, don't know if it's from stress, or getting these crazy meds caught, then they dissolve in the wrong place. anybody else have trouble getting capsules to go down?

 

[Deleted member 93]

Cookie I flip out over meds and taking a new one is instant panic attack... Or if I try to eat during high stress - I choke one everything, it is like I can't swallow and start gagging.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Yesterday I was human again!

This morning is OK. No sleep but met Anthony online to try to get my camera fixed and working right (no luck so far). Tried not to sweat up a storm of someone actually seeing me for the first time here. It is still acting flaky so got some bugs to work out. He got to see the loveliness of me being up all night and at 4 AM LOL... Plus he got to see me leap for a cat hacking up a fur ball on my rug and her longing calls as she went into heat yearteday LOL. Gotta love those first impressions you make on people! At least my dog cookie (who passes wind A LOT) was not making any of her normal noises (at least I don't think she did). Just the giant dog clomping around on the tile. So that was a pretty good way to start my day as he ended his. That whole a day away thing going over seas.

 

[GR-ass]

gacks
still here. Just real down and panicky again.

curls up and hides. Taking a partial TO.