I dread the holidays. I feel anxious, irritable, and very morose. It's not an easy time for me. Nor my son.
Last week....
Being between a rock and a hard place, my boss knows I can do little to change my circumstances right now. (like tell him to shove it and move out of the house I live in on the ranch...) He showed up here, unannounced, (as per usual) demanding, cussing and yelling at me, to move my pickup out of my driveway so he could drive through. Since he doesn't NEED to do this, (drive through here Or cuss me out) but does it to antagonize me, I asked him (for the 100th time) to call before he shows up so I can be prepared or just go around and drive in the other way. More yelling and finger jabbing at me ensued... so I said f*** you... and went back in the house to finish my first cup of coffee. I was very polite about it. I hesitate to think what I might have done if he'd followed me back to the house. I am so tired of his nonsense and I just need a place to go. Not easy with livestock I can't get rid of .........
He showed up here the following day with a ratty old mattress which he used to "insulate" the back wall of the house (from the outside) because the walls where the pipes are back there have NO insulation in them and the pipes had frozen. He blamed this on me... for not leaving the water running hard enough to prevent the freeze. This warrants a photo for the internet as I am sure it sounds unbelievable to most people. Hell, it doesn't sound believable to me and I watched him do it!!! mouth hanging open and everything!!!
Moments after he did this, he knocked on my door wanting to come in for a cup of coffee. I didn't open the door. I refuse to allow him to come in this house as a "friend". He is definitely not my friend.
He called me on Christmas day to ask if I was coming to his house for dinner. He tries to treat me as if "we" have a 'relationship' although I have never given him a reason to think so. In fact, quite the opposite. He is 40 years older than me. Extremely domineering and controlling. And I cannot imagine how he can arrive at the idea that I would want to show up at his house for anything at all. EVER! Much less have a 'relationship' with him. Eeeeeewwwwww. I'm a bum magnet.
Now, that's my prelude to Christmas. I'm in a fine humor... indescribable...
My son and I invited a friend of mine, and her foster son to come eat with us. I made the meal and pies and she brought a pastry. We actually had a wonderful evening. 3 of the 4 of us are ptsd sufferers. We can 'relate'. We made a GOOD memory to help replace and cover up all the bad ones we each have. We had a few drinks and went outside to gaze at the mattress against the back of the house. Maybe it was the alcohol... but standing there in the snow looking at it like that... it became one of the funniest things we'd ever seen!
We've all been through a lot. This is one event we'll remember well. And it's going to be a hard one to forget!
Last week....
Being between a rock and a hard place, my boss knows I can do little to change my circumstances right now. (like tell him to shove it and move out of the house I live in on the ranch...) He showed up here, unannounced, (as per usual) demanding, cussing and yelling at me, to move my pickup out of my driveway so he could drive through. Since he doesn't NEED to do this, (drive through here Or cuss me out) but does it to antagonize me, I asked him (for the 100th time) to call before he shows up so I can be prepared or just go around and drive in the other way. More yelling and finger jabbing at me ensued... so I said f*** you... and went back in the house to finish my first cup of coffee. I was very polite about it. I hesitate to think what I might have done if he'd followed me back to the house. I am so tired of his nonsense and I just need a place to go. Not easy with livestock I can't get rid of .........
He showed up here the following day with a ratty old mattress which he used to "insulate" the back wall of the house (from the outside) because the walls where the pipes are back there have NO insulation in them and the pipes had frozen. He blamed this on me... for not leaving the water running hard enough to prevent the freeze. This warrants a photo for the internet as I am sure it sounds unbelievable to most people. Hell, it doesn't sound believable to me and I watched him do it!!! mouth hanging open and everything!!!
Moments after he did this, he knocked on my door wanting to come in for a cup of coffee. I didn't open the door. I refuse to allow him to come in this house as a "friend". He is definitely not my friend.
He called me on Christmas day to ask if I was coming to his house for dinner. He tries to treat me as if "we" have a 'relationship' although I have never given him a reason to think so. In fact, quite the opposite. He is 40 years older than me. Extremely domineering and controlling. And I cannot imagine how he can arrive at the idea that I would want to show up at his house for anything at all. EVER! Much less have a 'relationship' with him. Eeeeeewwwwww. I'm a bum magnet.
Now, that's my prelude to Christmas. I'm in a fine humor... indescribable...
My son and I invited a friend of mine, and her foster son to come eat with us. I made the meal and pies and she brought a pastry. We actually had a wonderful evening. 3 of the 4 of us are ptsd sufferers. We can 'relate'. We made a GOOD memory to help replace and cover up all the bad ones we each have. We had a few drinks and went outside to gaze at the mattress against the back of the house. Maybe it was the alcohol... but standing there in the snow looking at it like that... it became one of the funniest things we'd ever seen!
We've all been through a lot. This is one event we'll remember well. And it's going to be a hard one to forget!
