Relationship Hurting

[Sighs]

We went out to dinner last night. I thought we had a good time. Went to bed about midnight. 4 in the morning he wakes up (as he often does), goes to the loo, we say a few words to each other about the weather. He gets back into bed. We spoon for a couple of minutes. So far so normal.

Then he suddenly pushes me away. I roll over to face him in the dark and he says "I'm so sad and lonely". I hold him and say "I'm here sweetheart". And he says "I don't feel connected to you anymore".

Alrighty then.

We lay not touching wide awake for hours. He finally reached out and patted my leg. Hours later when my alarm went off and I got up he grabbed for me and said "where are you going?". I said to work and he said "don't you want a cuddle first?"

I got back into bed and he held me tight for ten minutes or so. When I got to work he sent me a text "xox".

Sigh! Talk about the push and pull!

 

[Sweetpea76]

Wowza, that's enough to make you nuts!

 

[Friday]

Can I smack him? (Clearly I'm all super cheerful at the moment ;)). It's like, hey moron! If you had to strap on some distance in order to be able to behave out in public, of course you're gonna feel disconnected from the people you love, as a lil bit of after-effect of that. It wears off. How about not opening your gob and hurting the people you love by telling them you f*cked up and put them on the outside of your armor when you suited up this time, instead of the inside, because you wanted to impress them? Counteract the damn effect, wait for it to wear off, and voila! FFS. Grab onto your woman, breathe in her scent, feel her heartbeat, let her become real again in your arms... Ground this motherf*cking disassociation out, instead of risking it out.

Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. :shifty: Can I please just kick him in the shins? Just a little?

Seriously... Men! You don't have to lie, but you don't have to run around shouting the truth, either. Same truth, 2 options, 1 makes them feel special and loved on, and the other 1 inspires their girlfriends to smacking ya upside the head.

ETA. Cough. Clearly, ignore me if I'm over the line, here.

 

[Ronin]

I'm happy about the cuddle times, though.

Like, glad the bro is finally making up his mind, instead of being so lost and not doing right by you. Hope he abandons those funks in the future.

 

[Tinyflame]

If you had to strap on some distance in order to be able to behave out in public, of course you're gonna feel disconnected from the people you love, as a lil bit of after-effect of that.

That is so. ^^ True. Not just men.

I'm sorry @Sighs . :(

 

[Sighs]

@Friday - you're the best girlfriend I've ever had. Feel free to slap him upside the head whenever he needs it! ;)

 

[scout86]

Note to self: "All those 'feelings' you think you should keep to yourself? Most of the time you're right!"

 

[NaeNae75]

We went out to dinner last night. I thought we had a good time. Went to bed about midnight. 4 in the mor...

Boy, I can relate to this both ways...as the one that does it sometimes, and the recipient other times.

I have no enlightened words of wisdom here, because I can't figure it out myself. But, I do have lots of hugs and support for you!

On the bright side....if you only read the cover and last page of the book it was pretty good, lol! (Nice dinner and cuddles)

 

[Miss Lissa]

Urgh!

I can relate. My sufferer is sad and fruatrated with something I said right now so it means that I can't touch him at all.
I live for touch (it's totally my love language) and he won't even let me rub his head to calm him like I used to. Says he's tired. Says I know how to push his buttons and that he's not a toy to be pushed and pulled around.

No. You're not. You're just the man I love and I want to touch and hold you.

I can just feel his distancing and I HATE it. I was away for a few days and when I got back I kissed him and gave him a hug and he just stood there. I tried to cuddle in bed and he asked me to move over. (Sigh)

I snuck a few cuddles in the morning when he was asleep, but that's all I got.

It really sucks when they do this. It feels like he's trying to convince himself (and me) that he doesn't love me. Then he wonders why I have insecurity about the relationship. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and you have to watch for it.

It's really hard and I get it. Oh I get it.