Husband and pranks

[Tpeter]

I have asked my husband not to walk up behind me and scare me but he did it again and it sends me into an anxiety and panic situation. I am exhausted today - my mind went into overdrive. What should I do.

 

[In the weeds]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't know why someone would do something like that when they know how it affects you. I hope he realizes this soon and never does it again.

 

[Movingforward10]

I have asked my husband not to walk up behind me and scare me but he did it again and it sends me into an anxiety and panic situation. I am exhausted today - my mind went into overdrive. What should I do.

Can you ground yourself?

And then, when you're calmer, let him know, again, how it makes you feel?

When you asked him before not to do it, what was his response? Did he forget this time? Has he said sorry?

 

[Rose White]

I think you need to make a consequence for him crossing that boundary. Something like, “I told you I don’t like when you scare me like that. If you do it again I’m going to…” (Leave to re-regulate, be alone in the bedroom, go to my family’s house, etc)

 

[Sideways]

I have asked my husband not to walk up behind me and scare me but he did it again

People who do this intentionally, it reeeeally grinds my gears. It’s not funny.

But…most people don’t do it intentionally. Exaggerated startle response is very typical of ptsd. So common that in the previous iteration of the DSM it was one of the diagnostic criteria for ptsd. It’s neurological, which means it isn’t my fault, but it isn’t their fault either. It’s just a symptom that I have to work around.

Sometimes radical acceptance can help with that. Shit, but it is what it is.

Like I said - unless it’s deliberate. In which case they can fk right off!