Sexual Assault Husband laughed about my sexual abuse

[flowerapple]

I'm so sorry, he said that to you and I can only imagine how you're feeling right now. I don't know your husband, but I still urge you to not take his threat lightly. I say this because I once had a similar experience where the guy I told would not only make comments similar to that, but he also eventually acted on them. He would do stuff I told him that happened to me, and eventually he even got his friends to help him out with it for stuff where it was more than one person. I know it's not the same situation, and I don't know your husband or what he would do or what he's capable of, and I might just be thinking this way because of what happened with me, but I am just worried for your safety. I didn't take him seriously when he would say things, even though I knew deep down he probably was, because I just didn't want to think I had gotten myself in the same situation again, or that someone would really do that. I just told myself that it was all in my head and that I was worrying about nothing because of what happened to me, and that he wasn't like that, and by the time I did, it had happened too many times, and I didn't know how to get out of it. And I didn't really get out of it, so much as I had to move towns for family reasons and just packed up and left without saying anything.

I just hope you be careful, and don't doubt yourself when you think something's wrong. I wish the best for you.

 

[littleoc]

You deserve better. That dude is barely a person if he’s willing to make statements like that.

 

[HealingMama]

I'm so sorry he said that.

I know that you follow my diary and see a lot of your marriage dynamic in my relationship dramas, but my husband would NEVER say something like that about my traumas. He's been insensitive when I point out that he's triggering me but he would never make fun of me or the situations that I have experienced, and his goal is definitely not to break me down. (I sometimes think he's trying to do that but he's not coming from that motivation.)

Your husband is being sadistic, and you do not deserve that.

You have a right to safety, and it sounds like unfortunately this man is never really going to be safe. Even if he says he was just joking around that is sadistic. Even if he says that he's sorry, I would consider that pretty unforgivable.

Having said that, I also understand how hard it is to leave someone even if they are bad for you so if you end up staying you'll get no judgment from me. I just hope you can hear that you do deserve to not be involved with a sadist.

 

[Ronin]

I think he may have just completely broke me

Sorry he hurt you so much....

But hardly broke you, it showed you he is someone to totally kick out of your life.

youre badass, this loser doesnt ruin someone like you.

 

[Jade-]

I'm not sure if I even slept at all last night.I know that I have some major decisions to make ASAP.

 

[Jade-]

He said he is sorry,that I made him mad and can we just forget it.

f*ck no we can't

 

[HealingMama]

He said he is sorry,that I made him mad and can we just forget it.

f*ck no we can't

Good for you that boy needs consequences.

 

[Gs172003]

Can she she call the police because he threatened "to break her down"? Mainly a copy of the police report for her records?

Personally I wouldn't bother to call the police. That is a pretty open threat that could mean anything. I would just pack my crap and get out. Don't even give the piece of crap a chance to test his theory.

 

[Sideways]

I have some major decisions to make ASAP.

Is there someone you can ask for help with this? Because yeah, it’s a lot to handle by yourself.

Get as much support around you as you can. If you can, try and arrange an urgent appointment with your T.

 

[Mach123]

I'm sorry it's come to this. People get ugly in divorce.

We have said and done cruel things to each other and my wife has said things like this but not graphically.

I have to say though I played some part in her behavior toward me. I really don't know whose the most at fault if it ever came down to it and I guess you can't know that. Maybe that's not true in your case and you married a sadist. I'm really sorry if that's true.

But that behavior has to stop because that language is violence. It hardly matters who said what or why anymore.

I have a very hard time trying to accept that I don't deserve bad behavior and I'm living with some bad behavior now but I'm not going to divorce over it because ( I was thinking about this today )

I told that witch ( my lovely bride) after only a few years that we could divorce anytime she wanted, but she was going to sign the papers (initiate it) and I'd see her in hell.

There's more to the story like all marriages but I pray you get into a situation where nobody can speak to you like that ever again.

In my case I understand this is my abuse history (and hers) playing out over and over. So I let go of her as much as I can and I forgive her as much as I can.

It hasn't been easy.

 

[siniang]

Hold on

He said he is sorry,that I made him mad

Wow. Also: classic.

Get out there ASAP!

:hug:

 

[blackemerald1]

He said he is sorry,that I made him mad and can we just forget it.

f*ck no we can't

^What do you want to do now? Don't have another fight over what happened. And no you didn't make him be anything.
I think @Sideways idea of getting a T appointment is sound.
Do you have a lawyer?