General Husband Starting Emdr - What To Expect?

[Bilby]

My husband is starting EMDR tomorrow and I'm unsure as to what to expect from him when I see him afterwards? From what I understand, it seems to vary from individual to individual?

 

[Ladyhope Somerset]

Hi Bilby

We're in the UK and I can tell you what has happened for my husband. He had a thorough assessment (2 sessions for 1 hour each) after which he was given explanation handouts.

Then he started the EMDR therapy sessions, he's been going once a week and has had 10 sessions so far. Afterwards he is drained and very tired. Because we have to travel 45 minutes to his sessions I drive us home and he needs a nap when we get back. Let him take his time and try not to ask probing questions as it will be a painful process for him.

Hope this helps.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

There is alot of information on emdr here. If you research it it could help you. I am almost done with my emdr. I was terrified to start it and and started a thread in the anxiety section about anxiety about doing emdr and got alot of helpful responses and support.

For me I find it really soothing. It is like that for some people. Sometimes after ward I feel pretty down as the information shifts in my brain and heart. It has been a life changing experience for me. I do not get haunted by the painful memories anymore. It has freed me up to live my life. I hope you get more responses that are usually the effects of it. Good luck. Your husband is lucky to have you. I hope you get all of the help, support and encouragement you need.

 

[KarlaSTi]

I am starting EMDR at my next session, I am a little nervous. I just don't know what to expect of it, will it essentially sort out my memories and file them away so they don't bother me anymore? I am pretty nervous, but I hope it will help :-/ My Therapist tells me it will be calming for me, but I've read some reviews about it and for most, that doesn't seem to be the case, I guess I will report back after my session though..

 

[zymogram]

I live in the U.S. I have been having EMDR for the past couple of years. We can only do it when I am in a "good place". It has/is helping a lot. I am very tired and emotionally drained afterwards, and it is sometimes difficult to drive. I made the mistake of going directly to work once after a session. I live alone, but went out to lunch once with my adult daughter. This too was a mistake for me as I did not want to talk. Everyone is different of course, but I would let him take the lead or ask if he needs silence or wants to talk. My thoughts are with you, and so awesome that he has support.

 

[Bimble]

Hi - I live in the UK and had a number of EMDR sessions. They have really helped - they've softened the blow a bit, in terms of what I used to feel and be disturbed by. The flashbacks are still there and I still have horrendous days and nights, but they feel a little more controllable in general.

It is a very tiring process - a couple of the sessions I had lasted for around 2 hours. I felt a mixture of feeling drained during the process, to feeling very light and almost dream-like. It's very strange. For me, the stark, defined images of my accident could almost be felt being rubbed away, layer by layer, until it was hard to even visualise the aspects of the accident.

In the evening, after a session, I felt pretty drained and slept like a baby - some of my best night's sleep's were after an EMDR session!

As I said earlier, it is not a total cure - the flashbacks still come back, I am struggling at times to cope with the anxiety and huge emotion swings but I definately feel that the EMDR was very useful for me - I know it doesn't have a positive effect on everyone.

Hope it all works out well for your husband - best wishes Bilby.

 

[zymogram]

I think the reason I have been having the EMDR intermittently over a number of years, is because of many years of trauma going back to as early as I can remember. I could not have lasted much more than the 10 minutes we probably did at the first session. It took/takes me a long time to process after therapy .

I have been in therapy for more than 20 years. Please do NOT get discouraged by this anyone. My abuse was from from father for 17 years- severe sexual, physical, emotional, and spiritual. The emotional and spiritual abuse then continued by my unethical psychiatrist and my ex-husband of 23 years. Mental health was so different in the 70's and 80's and into the 90's in the small state in mid-west U.S. I now live in a different state in a metropolitan area and have been diagnosed correctly with PTSD. I'm using a combination of CBT, DBT, EMDR, and medications. I am healing, and I think re-wiring my brain from all the trauma.

 

[Deleted member 16646]

My husband is starting EMDR tomorrow and I'm unsure as to what to expect from him when I see him afterwards? From what I understand, it seems to vary from individual to individual?

He might be tired, but if his therapist is well-trained, EMDR includes laying a firm groundwork in stress management processes before starting the desensitization phase (what many people call EMDR, which actually encompasses a full treatment modality). With the correct "front-loading" of resources and self-soothing strategies that provide the essential groundwork, traumatic events can be handled safely and effectively. Read "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR" by EMDR's creator, Dr. Francine Shapiro. It's an easy read, very user-friendly, and can help both you and your husband right now. Over time and the process of EMDR therapy, memories fade, symptoms recede, and one can live more comfortably in the present. It is an awesome, and humbling, method!

 

[Bilby]

Thanks for your replies everyone, I really appreciate it.

He had his first session today and he felt very good about how it went. He was a little nervous going into it, but woke today 'ready' for the session as he had done a lot of groundwork every day this week with his psychiatrist. Since he has been in hospital this week, he looks so much calmer, more at peace. Perhaps this comes with knowing you are getting the help you need from a specialist. Whatever the reason, it was brilliant to go in there to see him today post-EMDR and have him look happy and energised. He looked... lighter, if that makes sense? He was quite amazed at how the EMDR session had gone and I am so happy that the outcome was a positive one for him - that makes me feel good about it all too! :)

 

[maddog]

Having confidence in your EMDR therapist to manage the process and its consequences is absolutely critical to its success, so I'm really glad he had such a rapport established and that he seemed to have such a positive first experience. While EMDR, like all therapies, isn't for everyone, I think it can have extraordinary, very rapid and relatively non-traumatic effects when compared to some other forms of trauma therapy, so for those who click with the process, I think it is a very worthy investment.

Really hope he continues to make positive steps forward and that things can improve for both of you.

Maddog

 

[Bilby]

Cheers Maddog :)

 

[Autumncolors]

Hi, I just had my first EMDR session today. I'm online reading about it now, because I was wondering what I should expect after the session. I feel tired, but I was tired and depressed when I got there. Hopefully I will notice something is diffrent within the next few days.