General Hypervigalance 101

[Freida]

Sure -- its like how ptsd and depression overlap I would think.

So. I drive my hubby nuts because I insist that we close the shades the minute the sun starts to go down. We've been bickering about this for years. Last night I finally figured out why!

It's that time when the lights are bright enough to show the inside of the house.... does that make sense? Ya - so that is when the sniper can see where you are! So you have to close the blinds. I finally get it! Yea - its stupid but so what..I know why it's such a big deal to me

 

[scout86]

Situational awareness. Never heard of it.

It's basically just the useful version of hypervigilence. All this stuff exists on a continuum. And the part that gets in the way started out as useful, even essential. For me, it's useful to acknowledge, respect, and appreciate that. It started out as something my brain felt was necessary to keep me alive. And I'm alive, so it must have worked. .:)

This happens to be one of the symptoms my T talks about the most. He's never disrespected it. He's never suggested it's something I should stop. He takes an approach that's more about making the traits my friend and creating a dimmer switch, so I can turn it down. (Like enough to sleep.)

He had a number of chairs in his office and he pays attention to who sits where. Last I heard, it was just me & "the special forces guy" who pick the one with the best view of the room. (The door to the fire escape is behind you. It's locked, but you can get out it if you have to and you'd hear anyone coming before they could get in.)

As far as humor vs anger goes, that's a choice and it takes some work. I've found that joking about it, even talking about it (like my T commenting on where I chose to sit) helps take the edge off. Either the symptoms are less, or it bothers me less, but it's better. (I honestly tend to be pretty oblivious. I've been this way so long, I assume it's normal.)

 

[Freida]

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(I honestly tend to be pretty oblivious. I've been this way so long, I assume it's normal.)

I know right!!??? maybe it is and it's the rest of them that don't get it!

 

[scout86]

it's the rest of them that don't get it!

I actually tried that approach with my T. He rolled his eyes. LOL

 

[grimalkin]

Oh man. Lights and curtains were a constant battle with my sufferer, and I had no idea why - his instinct is to turn on a light as soon as it starts getting dim in a room. And yup, I'm a "turn the lights off if you're not in the room!" person. I eventually just gave up because, really, it's not that big of a deal to me.

Now, window coverings on the other hand - my sufferer doesn't understand the physics (I guess?) of how people can "see in the house." That is - they can see in because the interior is illuminated more than the exterior. When it's daylight, and it's brighter outside than it is inside, and there's no back illumination (IE from lights INSIDE)? People can't see in unless they're at the window, looking in. He is convinced that people can see in unless you turn lights on. Even showing him physically didn't convince him. I literally tried to show him by having him stand outside and asking *turns off light* "Can you see in?" "No." *turns on light* "How about now?" "Yes." He STILL didn't get it.

At night? He'll keep the lights on and not close the curtains. Me: "You do realize people can see in?" "No they can't." *headdesk*

The funny part? He likes to walk around naked in the house. Ok, dude. You walk around naked when people CAN see in, but not when they can't, because you don't believe how light works. You do you. Don't bitch if the cops come because PEOPLE SEE YOUR NAKED ASS.

He can't sleep with ANY light though. Noise machine is a must, but light? Nope.

 

[LuckiLee]

We talked a little bit more about it the other day. He mentioned how things slow down. And he can "see" what is gonna happen. When he was in combat everything was in slow motion. Step by step. Idk if this is hypervig or not. Sounds like a form of it though. Hmm.

 

[LuckiLee]

@Freida. I mentioned emdr and you would have thought I mentioned a freakin lobotomy! He got so mad that he wasn't even hearing me. Agghhh! I'll have to try again on a good day. He had his physical on Monday but his blood work is abnormal so that's our priority.( He was exposed to depleted uranium.) My poor baby love! XO

 

[Freida]

@leehalf tell him to suck it up....if I can do it he can do it!! :)

 

[LuckiLee]

^^^ I think that's in the thread "what NOT to say to a sufferer". LOL!

He thinks therapy is therapy. He doesn't realize there's different forms of it. What the hell does his therapist tell him anyways? He should know about all of his options. Sheesh!

 

[Hojay]

What the hell does his therapist tell him anyways?

I’ve asked myself this a million times. I don’t know what his t’s have been doing with him in there over the last 2 years, playing Monopoly or something? Meanwhile I have freaking PhD in PTSD and you could wake me in my sleep and I’d tell you all about therapy methods and tools. I don’t though, doesn’t end well :)

 

[Louski]

I’ve asked myself this a million times. I don’t know what his t’s have been doing with him in there...

HA!! My guy has been with his therapist for 17 years...maybe there is such a thing as too much therapy from one particular person?

I myself have swapped therapists over this last year because one was good for getting me through the time when he was in the combat zone and my new one is helping me deal with this next phase.

 

[scout86]

What the hell does his therapist tell him anyways? H

Since you mentioned it, there's a lot of stuff my T has never mentioned, including EMDR. I'm confident he's aware of it. It's not something I'm enthused about. I figure he'd say something if he thought it was a good idea....

That business about stuff slowing down, I've only had that happen when there's a real life wreck in progress, but it's pretty cool. I don't think it's related to hypervigilence, directly. It's more about how the brain can respond to an emergency.