I’m scared that my therapist is mad at me

[subtleomen]

Usually, when I am worried that someone is mad (almost always in closest relationships or w/authority figures), I am being hypervigilant and looking for evidence that either I am bad and this person's anger with me confirms it, or looking for evidence that someone is going to hurt me in some way.

 

[sunshinedaydream]

Usually, when I am worried that someone is mad ...

This sounds like what I am doing!

He made me a voice message that I can play when I’m worried about it. It says I can keep coming back to therapy and that it’s ok and that a lot of emotions and dissociating is part of trauma therapy and that he is used to it, etc. I have listened to it every day when I start to get my mind playing tricks on me.

But I email a lot, and he says it’s fine, but lately the emails are scaring me, I don’t remember half of them and they are piling up in my drafts folder and never sending.