Sexual Assault I am so confused please help me

[Xoxoxoxoxo]

I am so confused I need help...

I was sexual assault with penetration by one of my best friends brothers we where both on drugs and I didn’t really know what was going on at first as I was sleeping he did eventually stop when I told him and I slep next to him the rest of the night

The next couple of days I seen him and didn’t really feel any type of way about it probably because of the numbness of all the drugs and alcohol after that weekend I went back to university and couldn’t get out of bed for a week but I convinced myself that we where both on drugs and it was nothing

The week later was his sister party who is my best friend and we partied together again although I was abit weary of him and didn’t sleep anywhere near him again I didn’t really think about it until everyone started to go to sleep I quickly got out of there and slept with my 2 girlfriends instead

Fast forward to yesterday 2 weeks after the assault my friend (his sister) calls me and tells me that a girl had hold her parents that her brother had sexual assaulted one of her friend as she is explaining it to me it is very similar to my story and I froze stiff and put the phone down then I messaged her an chattered about other stuff not mentioning what she had told me

I then told one of my other friends (not in the same friend circle) about it I just couldn’t keep it to myself I am so close to their family and am very best friends with his sister and cousin and I don’t want to loose them I can’t tell them because they will never believe me I mean how have I been able to spend time with him after it?

But know that I can’t lie to myself about it anymore I don’t think I could stomach being around him but I don’t want to loose my friends I stay in his house regularly when I am home from university and how can I just cut that all off without explanation how am I meant to spend time with my friends when he is always there should I just suck it up so I don’t loose my friends Am so angry he done this to me because I am going to loose so much

Why was I able to spend time with him after this assault but now I can’t bear to think about it?

 

[freyjacat]

Denial

 

[Finchlet2]

I want to give you amazing advice but I'm scared if I try it will be bad advice. There are so many people on this forum with wisdom pertaining to this sort of horrible behaviour though and I'm so sorry you were put through that. What he did was wrong because not being fully conscious is obviously non consent and even on drugs(I experimented a lot in the past) he should know that. As to hew you move forward all I want is the course of least distress for you and I don't know what that is. I'm certain you won't be waiting long for better advice.

 

[RoadtoHappy]

I am so confused I need help...

Hi,

I am so sorry to read your story and hear of your trauma. What your friends brother did is a violation to you and no matter what you or he was doing ( I have experimented with many drugs back in the day :) ) there is no excuse for what he did. Most likely you have had time to process it and that is why you are now feeling such disgust being in his presence. Our minds work is mysterious ways and we all react and process events and traumas very differently.

The only advice I can provide you is to book an appointment with your GP who can refer you to a therapist. You need to be able to speak with someone in confidence about this to weigh up your options and give you clarity. I am assuming as you said you are in college that you are still quite young? can I ask how old you are?

Listen to your mind and body. The fact that you posted here and are in such a dilemma on what to do shows you need advice and support from a professional. Just remember whatever road you choose and whatever the outcome is, this is all down to his actions and not yours. You cannot be held accountable or feel guilt for the actions and responses of others. You can only control your own and we all have to do what will be the best for us, so do what you need and be kind to yourself.

I wish you all the best