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I Blew It Last Night.

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Barberian

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My wife has a cat that has been in heat for over 6 months now. SIX f*ckING MONTHS of this cat being in heat. It want's me to be it's next mate.... It won't leave me the f*ck alone. I finally got my wife to keep the cat in her bedroom (used to be our bedroom). I sleep outside in a 14ft U-haul truck for the last... 7-8 months. When I go in to take a shower, which is off of the master bedroom, the cat won't leave me alone. It sits there outside the shower and does it's f*ck me meows, rubs on everything knocking everything down including my towel and clean cloths. The constant attention of this f*cking cat DOES drive me crazy when I'm in there. I have started being violent to it in the last few weeks just to get it to go a way. I'm a cat lover, but I want this cat DEAD. Last night I went in to take a shower, cat does it's thing, I flip out and start raging, yelling, punching a hole in the shower wall. It's a fiberglass one piece walk in rap-around shower stall. Not easy to punch a hole in it, but I just kept punching, and punching. f*cked up my hand pretty good. My wife was outside and came in running to the bathroom to tell me about this banging noise she heard. I said, "ya, that was me". I really lost it then. I yelled and screamed and ranted at her about the cats in the house. I spent almost all of last night wandering around down town. I was in so much pain I couldn't stand it. I called the suicide prevention hotline for vets... what a joke. The only thing I can say about it is that the bitch on the other end of the line pissed me off so bad I spent the next few hours raging inside about her incompetance and apethy in dealing with a possibly suicidal vet. I was too angry to be suicidal. Around 3 in the morning I finally hobbled home just for my pain meds. This isn't the first time I've lost it over the cats. I gave her an ultiimatum last summer to get rid of most of the cats. She got rid of a few of the black kittens, but kept the siamese looking ones. She promised that she was working on getting rid of the other ones. I told her on no uncertain terms that she could keep ONLY two cats and I would keep my one cat. She said she would do it. Fast fwd to last night. We now have 15 cats in the house, and 3 dogs. Everything is about the f*cking pets. I have an out of control startle response that is set off several times a day by the pets. I have hypersensitivity to some noises, particularly sudden unexpected and repetitive noises. Rattling plastic or paper is one of the worst triggers for an anger explosion. Guess what cats love to do? Play with paper and plastic that rattles. After about 10-15 min of just yelling, screaming and ranting at my wife about the cats killing me... yes I feel they are slowly killing me with the constant flare ups of anger and paranoia. I told her it was the cats or me. So far since the last fight last summer, she has chosen the cats because they are still here. I drew the line in the sand. I will devorce her and walk away if the cats arn't out of the house "soon"(tm). I will do this regardless of how much it hurts either of us. I know she will lose the house almost immediatly. Our mortgage company is already, ready to yank the house from us and are just waiting for a legal excuse to do it. I know she will lose the cats with no where to put them. I know she will lose almost all her stuff because of no where to put it. She has this house packed with crap. She is a hoarder, the kind you see on T.V. interventions. I will lose the one woman who has stood by me (for the most part) for the last 22 years. Somewhere I have to cut my losses. I am enraged several times a day by the condition of the house and all the pets.

If I have to, I will live in that U-Haul truck, or the street. I don't care anymore. I've already started a to-do list moving stuff to a central location that I can just toss on the truck and drive away. I don't think she will get rid of the cats, so... Gota do what a mans gota do.
 
I'm sorry Barberian, I don't have any constructive advice, but for what it's worth, I feel for you. I'm an animal lover and I have a dog (just one), but I do think that 15 cats is too much. I hope you and the Mrs. can find middle ground. If not, you do what you have to do to keep yourself together.
 
Looks like I'm not the only one having fun this week. Don't make any life altering changes until you're in a good state of mind. Once it's done, it's to late to change your mind. Think it over once you calm down.
 
What Zip said. If you have a good woman, don't make decisions when your furious because you might not be able to take it back.

But on the other hand, 15 cats, I don't mind cats, but aren't there laws against that many????
 
Yes... In my town, it's 2 or 3 pets per household max.

I just got done talking to her for the first time since last night. She is working on getting rid of most of the cats and one dog, a chiuaua that likes to yip and growl and start fights with the other two dogs (scaring the hell out of me in the process).

I don't feel like this is any kind of victory. I know she will be in a lot of pain for weeks to months about this. I know that this will drive a wedge between us, and every time she looks at me it will be a reminder that I am the asshole who made her get rid of her beloved children. Yes, she thinks of them as her kids. No matter what, its a no win situation for me.

Reminds me of my time in service, "Damned if I do, Damned if I don't".
 
Mate, look at my avatar (no punishment intended). I like cats, but get rid of 'em. You can't like 15 + 3. She's breaking all the rules, not you. Point that out and sit tight. Point out too that it's not a power trip or anything.
Like you said, damned if you do, damned if you don't. Might as well be damned with the peace & quiet of the regulation three moggies.
(and if she's insisting on keeping the horny one, get it speyed!!).
 
I love animals Barby mate, but 15 and 3 in the house. Thats a tadge overboard mate. Any more than 2 free running animals in a house is out of line in my opinion, there is no control what so ever. no one can look after that many cats properly.

If she needs a child replacement, allow her the Western World universal 2 kids. over whom she can fuss all day long, and give a decent life too. I know a few people who love kids, but they would never have 13 of the little blighters.

You need to get her to see it in perspective mate.
 
Postscript. I'm pretty sure she doesn't get to see as much of you as she'd like. Most of us are guilty of that.
If the animals are a way of compensating for the lack of you, point out that if she wants more of you, you need less of them!
(if that comes from a BLOKE, it's not emotional blackmail, just FACT ;))
 
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