I Broke Up With My Boyfriend For No Reason.

[sophia]

Pippi, please read my post, My Husband After 13 Years Moved 4 States! I would like to know your thoughts on this matter.

As for your situation I would like to say what I would love to express to my husband. Don't feel guilty because we, as the "other one", choose our battles, if you will. I like to think of it as believers. For some reason I have that much belief that I can show him enough love to heal his wounds or at least understand him during his hard moments. I have seen him start into an episode and I got him to let me massage him, to exercise and just loved him. The next day he had his usual headaches which he always got when he was coming out of his episode. I would rather have him than not. He was going to a Energy Therapist which was wonderful!!! He stopped because of insurance not paying. Now that I'll have a job/money to keep it up he's gone. So you see I see hope past even "this rejection"!

 

[Michelle1991]

I have this very bad habit of pushing away good people in my life. The only people I let near my heart are the ones who I know will hurt me. At this point in time I don't understand the logic behind it, but I'm working with a social worker to figure it out. All we know so far is that people who were abused tend to be insecure and have low self-respect for themselves. If others don't respect you, and you don't respect yourself, you might get into toxic relationships because you don't think you deserve better.

 

[sophia]

That is what seems to be the case with my husband Michelle. He seems to be reverting back to the same people that hurt him in the past, or the ones that put him down. The morals and values that I have are of family, keeping goal of bettering ourselfs etc. He had everything a man could ask for it seemed. We had a stable home with a family loving family and inlaws.

Yesterday I had to face a possible loss again. My dad had his 5th heart attack! I know he was worried about our seperation as this was as shocking to him. Today he had surgery and is doing well, thank God. I informed my husband and requested prayers, he texted me back of prayers and simple put it would be fine. He even surprised me last night to ask how he was. But today after his surgery, no text. Even if you don't have a close relationship out of courtacy you would care and ask. This is troubleing to be because my dad and husband have gone fishing and spend quality time together but it's as if he has abandoned all things right! That is just plane wrong. The hurt don't come from just abandoning me and our family but from abandoning your unmistakable common courtacy, if you will, as a human being.

Not to sound harsh, but to what extent do I go to understand? There has to be a point of time, and my husband even said, there is this feeling inside that he knows to do different but chooses not to. The consequences don't appear to matter. This is so sad. It's as if rules only apply if he chooses it. Choosing to go back to what he is used to is a lot more understandable than getting to the point of just being plain unjust as he is doing now. Michelle, there are people that are willling to give you the shirt off their back, accept it and know, some people love to serve, cause in turn they are getting every bit of love in return just by you accapting it!

 

[Michelle1991]

Thank you for the wonderful reply it put a smile on my face. I have said the exact same thing as your husband, where there is a feeling that you know what you're doing is wrong, but you do it regardless. I hope your husband finds peace!

 

[NCLove]

For some reason I have that much belief that I can show him enough love to heal his wounds or at least understand him during his hard moments... I would rather have him than not.

Sophia, your words are such an inspiration to me as I currently am dealing with my long-term boyfriend pushing me away (I suspect due partially to his combat-related PTSD). I know that I can be strong enough to love him at his worst because I have known him at his best and he is amazing, my dream man. Keep strong, but love yourself too... something I'm working on as well, but easier said than done in some cases.

Pippi, your post gives me hope as well that even if things seem irreparable, they can turn around. I feel like my boyfriend is teetering on a decision that could end our relationship over a silly argument. We have talked seriously about a future together and he even asked me to move in with him when he buys a house (that was just 2 weeks ago). It sounds like your guy was made for you and I feel the same about mine... thank you for your post.