I can’t take this anymore :(

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
My constant anxiety, panic attacks & PTSD are killing me. I feel like a shadow walking around. Or maybe a ghost...

I was watching a show yesterday and a woman was almost raped. That triggered me HARD. I eventually put my sneakers on and went for an walk. With so many dark dark thoughts.

I’m wasting my life away so what’s the point of being here??? It would just be for others and I’m sick of being sensitive to everyone but me
Being where you are right now totally sucks. Life is miserable and seems absolutely hopeless and not worth continuing. Pointless. Not only pointless, but do incredibly painful that you can't even express your anguish in words. I can relate.

I was there for 6 long, white-knuckling it years. I thought that the rest of my life was going to be just like that.

But something changed.

A glimmer of light and hope and relief entered my darkness.

Then I began reading stories of so many people who had experienced all I had and worse and yet came through. They recovered. They found some peace and meaning and recovery in their lives.

I figured if they could have this then I could too. We're all the same flesh and blood, right. And I was right. I can have some sense of peace, joy, and meaning in my life.

So can you.

Hang in there! Come here and keep telling us all about it. We care. We will listen and share thoughts with you.

If we can heal and find hope, so can you. So will you.

I want to get to know you,
Woodsy
 

Smile

MyPTSD Pro
This is good to hear! I just reread this post and was wondering the same as @survivor, how are you doing?

I'm glad to hear you are hanging in there.

Any change in your experience?
thank you for asking... means a lot :)
Changes... yes. Not positively though. I started meeting random guys from online & sleeping over by them bc I so so can’t handle living with my mom anymore.

anxiety is through the roof. Meditation helps buy only while I’m doing it. The moment it’s over the anxiety comes back.

been crying all day bc I was SURE I was pregnant (I want a baby) but test was negative.

it’s a lot. And then add COVID to the mix... I’m a very sad camp
 

woodsy1

MyPTSD Pro
thank you for asking... means a lot :)
You are welcome. I hadn't seen any posts from you for a bit, so I wanted to see how you are doing. I'm glad you are making it by, even if one day at a time. Sometimes that's all we can do.
Changes... yes. Not positively though. I started meeting random guys from online & sleeping over by them bc I so so can’t handle living with my mom anymore.
Ugh! Living with mom can be really hard as an adult. I lived with mine for 6 months at the end of my major trauma. Then I got a job and managed to get back to my feet for a while.

Is it challenging being with random people? I don't know how well I could handle that.
anxiety is through the roof. Meditation helps buy only while I’m doing it. The moment it’s over the anxiety comes back.
I've never really tried meditation. I don't imagine it would work to well for me. Most grounding techniques only help me in the moment that I am using them. As soon as I stop, here comes the barrage of symptoms again.

I hope you find something that works for you soon. We all find something.
been crying all day bc I was SURE I was pregnant (I want a baby) but test was negative.
I'm sorry. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. What will it be like for you having a baby?
it’s a lot. And then add COVID to the mix... I’m a very sad camp
Oh, COVID. That's a word that is sure to be considered a curse word one of these days. Instead of saying, oh crap!, people will just say, Oh COVID!
 
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