I Can't Handle Any More Bad Things Happening Any More Grief.

[KwanYingirl]

How about an intensive out patient program? I did one of those when I was really at my lowest point and it made a huge improvement. Also, I had doctors that said they would admit me to the hospital but I can't tolerate being locked in-trigger. But they helped get me in the out patient program. What are your providers doing to help you?

 

[Fadeaway]

I am just getting ready to get some sleep but i am caler now. My husband (if he follows through) is going to make a post tomorrow and hopefully explain better than I can about the multiple times i was turned away from help tonight alone. I am pretty delirious at this point to to severe lack of sleep and everything that has happened

 

[joeylittle]

I just want to send you supporting thoughts, @Fadeaway.

And in the future, try and remember - if you believe you are in an emergency, go directly to the emergency room. Calling the hospital will not get you the help you need, because admissions is a different process. ER will do an evaluation after admitting you and then decide whether they should keep you until there is a bed available, transfer you, or let you go because you have calmed down.

I'm also posting this just for anyone else reading - please don't think I'm lecturing you or criticizing you! It is very challenging that one has to be very focused and direct in order to get emergency services as a psych patient. It's good to practice these things when we are feeling stable, so the skills are there for us when not.

"I am a danger to myself and need to be contained"
You'll need to be able to talk about method, your access to it, and then just repeat that you are a danger to yourself and need immediate help. It really does take some practice. It will be worth talking to your therapist about it more, when you can.

Thinking of you, and hoping that today will bring you some relief. I'm also sorry for what you have gone through.

 

[Fadeaway]

@joeylittle I have been physically ill from everything and not had the energy to post, but the hospital wouldn't take me previously, they told me the didn't have the resources, The ER told me NOT to come because they couldn't do anything. I was evaluated by an ambulance and emt but I didn't fit the criteria to be taken to a hospital.

I have never seen this anywhere else. I told them that 3rd world has better mental health services. I would be better off if i lived int he dark ages. Trying to spin the insainty out of someone or or a hot poker to the forhead would be more progressive treatment than they have here.

 

[Fadeaway]

Ok, so I am going to do my best with this. My husband is going to post soon too.

@The Albatross I want to apologize to you. I was just not in a state where I could be receptive

I don't want to mislead anyone, while I lost two pregnancies recently, the child I was talking about in my thread was kidnapped by his dad 10 years ago. He made contact only to tell me how much he hated me for not being there for him and blaming me for things that happened. I was then rejected by my attempts to reach out to a distant relative after years of trying to find any form of blood relative. (I just want a family so bad, it is all I have ever wanted since was little, family connection) Then I got yelled about by someone due to a misunderstanding (they thought I was talking about them instead of someone else) so they were hurt and deliberately started in on things they knew would hurt me.

To try and cope I went to the store even though I don't have a drivers license because I can't get a copy of my birth certificate. While I was in the store someone broke into my car via the back window (suv) the lock and stole my title, registration and insurance papers. The cops never checked my license thank god.

I was crying when my husband came home and he started screaming at me for crying because he had the "worst day ever" and and how he couldn't handle it then i got a phone call to tell me "how much I hate you for saying (name) did anything to you. He didn't do anything to you. I am never going to let you forget that you almost ruined his life you ungrateful little bitch. I took you in when no one else wanted you, you would have been the streets."
Same song and dance I always get.

So yeah I lost it bad. but each time I reached out, it got worse and worse.

@Solara, it is a university hospital. I don't know if it is public or private or how to tell. It is where everyone kept telling me to go The other choice is a religious hospital.

SOrry, getting super dizzy Iwill finsih more later.

 

[Fadeaway]

Sorry, I have been in such bad shape, since all this happened. and I was already bad of physically having not eaten for 3 days or slept. I haven't kept anything down since. (no eating disorder that I am aware of.)

@KwanYingirl
I can't get into a therapist let alone an out patient hospital. I have had an intake appointment with someone who seems promising but they went on vacation so it was two weeks (one week now) before my next appointment. I think that is 50% of all my problems lately, I can't get a provider and it has increased my level of insecurity 100 fold.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Well, I sure hope you feel a little better. When our symptoms escalate, good nutrition goes out the window. Time for comfort food!!! Can you just throw some meat and veggies into a crock pot?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'd say put off getting preggo again. You're quite symptomatic and dare I say not in a good place to be having kids based on how many crisis posts you've made recently?

 

[Fadeaway]

I'd say put off getting preggo again. You're quite symptomatic and dare I say not in a good place to be having kids based on how many crisis posts you've made recently?

Excuse me? What are you talking about? My kids are gone or dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF who said anything about trying to get preggo? Yeah, I hoped and dreamed that I would be able to carry a pregnancy am sorry, but I am beyond hurting with grief. I am sorry I even mentioned what happened to me. Maybe you aren't meaning to come of so insulting but I find it very insulting. I am NOT one of "those" people

In more pain than I can handle? yes, the type of person you implied that I am by thing you need to say "I'd say put off getting preggo again" when there was no mention or insinuation. of it? No.

 

[Fadeaway]

I am trying to be calm, really I am. This is a huge sensitive issue to me as pregnancy has always home with a huge overhead price and rounds of injectable and oral medications. For now I am going to take that you mis read something wrote.

 

[Fadeaway]

I am sorry I am in such bad shape right now. I It is the shear amount with a lack of break in serious stressors with the fear and feeling that I am so alone in everything because I can't get help. I am tryign oto cope with everythign the only ways I know howI have this increadible sharp pain in my stomach I odon't what do I think it is from the aniert causing me to constantly throw up.