Okay so hi. I'm 19 and only just been to the doctors about the stuff I've been experiencing for several years now.
It started when my mum died from cancer when I was 8, in 2003. My brothers were 5 and 9. It hit the whole family hard, but we carried on. Honestly I remember enjoying how close the family was at that time and before that. My dad coped as well as he could raising three kids and keeping a full time job. He put me and my older brother straight in to therapy classes, and honestly I don't know if they helped. I would still cry every night, have nightmares etc and I've never found it any easier to talk to anyone about it all.
Anyway, jumping forwards a few my dad remarried and I was pulled away from my mother's side of the family. I hate this - though I still manage to see them now I am older and can make my own way around. I could never say anything to my dad about this all - he deserves to be happy after all. We moved in to a big house with 'her' and her shitty sons. It didn't help that my dad left with the forces for a year within the first year of living there.
Throughout secondary school I struggled. My step brothers would abuse me verbally and even physically - no one knows about this. As stress from exams became greater, so did my symptoms. And to add on to that my grandmother then got the same type of cancer as my mum did. This practically killed me inside. Not only was I now at risk of losing another incredible woman in my life, but I found out that I'm now at a much higher risk of getting this cancer later on in my life. All this stress piled up and up and still I spoke to no one. Not even my friends. I would have emotional break downs over and over and still kept to myself.
Skip forward again - I've just started my first year at uni. I figured once I moved out everything would get better, but it hasn't really. The stress that came from being at has gone I guess, but I still have the breakdowns and headaches. Also I have severe mood swings, which often involve me getting angry at my boyfriend over nothing at all and then being so ashamed of myself. Its only recently I thought there must be something up to be causing this.
So here I am! Looking to find support and explore other stories.
Thanks for reading guys sorry it's so long :)
It started when my mum died from cancer when I was 8, in 2003. My brothers were 5 and 9. It hit the whole family hard, but we carried on. Honestly I remember enjoying how close the family was at that time and before that. My dad coped as well as he could raising three kids and keeping a full time job. He put me and my older brother straight in to therapy classes, and honestly I don't know if they helped. I would still cry every night, have nightmares etc and I've never found it any easier to talk to anyone about it all.
Anyway, jumping forwards a few my dad remarried and I was pulled away from my mother's side of the family. I hate this - though I still manage to see them now I am older and can make my own way around. I could never say anything to my dad about this all - he deserves to be happy after all. We moved in to a big house with 'her' and her shitty sons. It didn't help that my dad left with the forces for a year within the first year of living there.
Throughout secondary school I struggled. My step brothers would abuse me verbally and even physically - no one knows about this. As stress from exams became greater, so did my symptoms. And to add on to that my grandmother then got the same type of cancer as my mum did. This practically killed me inside. Not only was I now at risk of losing another incredible woman in my life, but I found out that I'm now at a much higher risk of getting this cancer later on in my life. All this stress piled up and up and still I spoke to no one. Not even my friends. I would have emotional break downs over and over and still kept to myself.
Skip forward again - I've just started my first year at uni. I figured once I moved out everything would get better, but it hasn't really. The stress that came from being at has gone I guess, but I still have the breakdowns and headaches. Also I have severe mood swings, which often involve me getting angry at my boyfriend over nothing at all and then being so ashamed of myself. Its only recently I thought there must be something up to be causing this.
So here I am! Looking to find support and explore other stories.
Thanks for reading guys sorry it's so long :)
