I Don't Know What Else To Do

[Fadeaway]

I got turned away from a therapist again. I have done everything I can think of. I contact every one on a regular basis. I am always told no or no room. I walked into my former therapists office again today. They are the largest group of providers in this area.

After being turned down multiple times and basically being told I was lying by the crisis line and accused of not trying hard enough I went and took a tape recorder. On tape he said he would have a spot open for me by the end of the month. I waited, tried not to press but I never heard back.

I went in today and was told absolutely not you need a medical evaluation. I have 2 psychiatric evaluations on record. But they kept saying my issue was medical. My current medical Dr. states they don't feel qualified to put anything in writing other than anxiety. The made an appointment for me to talk to the director again.
I know that they aren't telling me to hurt myself but every time someone tells me that they can't help me unless i am a danger to myself or others I feel like they are asking me to. Essentially whether they mean it or not, that is the message they are sending out. And so I find myself trying to come up with ways to meet their criteria without really doing so, if that makes sense. I ask my self "what could I do that wouldn't cause damage?"

I have got to find someone to talk to. I have got too. My inability to get help is making my symptoms so much worse.
The list of effects it is having on me, is growing by the day. Fear of not being able to get help, fear of not being able to properly express my need for help. fear of isolation, fear of rejection.
It is sending me into this massive dark whole and the realitation of once again being able screaming at the top of my lungs for help and knowing no one is ever going to come. I just keep thinking about how i couldn't figure out how to get help back then, and I can't figure out how to get help now. The helplessness and fear that I will never be able to protect myself.

I am so afraid of being turned away. I don't get it. I can't figure out what I am doing wrong. And it makes me so homesick because if I was where i used to live I could get help from a variety of places.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I am really sorry that you are stuck in this situation, @Fadeaway . It sounds horrible.

. Essentially whether they mean it or not, that is the message they are sending out. And so I find myself trying to come up with ways to meet their criteria without really doing so, if that makes sense.

That makes so much sense the way you worded it. Please keep thinking the way you are though- to not hurt yourself.

There's got to be an answer out there somewhere. If you have insurance, have you tried talking directly to them? Mine just called me and they have actual behavioral health managers! Also, maybe someone at an organization like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) could help. I really have no idea, but thought I would throw out some suggestions just in case.

I sincerely hope that something works out for you soon.

 

[sun seeker]

I can't figure out what I am doing wrong.

Nothing, it's not you.

I don't know what to say Fadeaway, except that I'm so sorry this is happening and you deserve so much better.

This sounds simplistic and I'm sure it is complicated, but... is there any chance of moving to an area with more services for you?

 

[Neverthesame]

So, because they belive your health issues are due to a physical illness or injury. That the best course of action would be to make you jump through a series of hoops, run you all over the place and cause you an excessive and most likely totally unnecessary amount of stress. Only to deny you care because there may be something wrong with you physically?

What a great idea. As we all are aware, physical health problems can only be treated if you take the negative emotions squish them into a tiny ball then bury them deep. That's the only proper way to deal with psychological issues, as I'm sure you are probably well aware.

I learned this from a wise old soul, have you heard of Dr. Saar-Kastic?

But seriously, this is an awful way for these people to treat you. It takes alot of strength to go to therapy even when the process is running smoothly. Be kind to yourself, you are dealing with a very difficult situation. You are also keeping your mind on healthy ways of doing things. Remaining rational in the face of hopelessness is a skill that is hard to learn. I hope this gets sorted out soon.

 

[scout86]

My current medical Dr. states they don't feel qualified to put anything in writing other than Link Removed

Does that mean your current medical doctor doesn't think there's anything physically wrong with you? Would they put that in writing and would that meet the criteria?

There are a LOT of people in therapy for a lot of reason. Most of them have nothing to do with being an acute danger to themselves. Sounds like a pretty awful system they have there!

 

[Eleanor]

You are not doing anything wrong. They are. Is there another group you could switch to there? (sorry if I'm asking something you've already made clear...) I once had to switch groups actually at the office before the appointment. I spent half an hour on their phone talking to my insurance... but it got done.

 

[Toranoko]

I hate to ask this, but I notice you're in the US? Are you using government insurance of some form (including VA/Military)? If that's the case, you'll need to find an advocate of some form to help with the impenetrable bureaucracy. VA & Military has advocates; don't have a clue where other advocates would be, though they should exist. Perhaps someone else does.

 

[Friday]

Does that mean your current medical doctor doesn't think there's anything physically wrong with you? Would they put that in writing and would that meet the criteria?

I went in today and was told absolutely not you need a medical evaluation. I have 2 psychiatric evaluations on record. But they kept saying my issue was medical. My current medical Dr. states they don't feel qualified to put anything in writing other than anxiety.

@Fadeaway
1. Your doctor sounds awesome. Far, far, far too many GPs try to deal with psych & neurology when they really aren't qualified to diagnose or treat either.

2. Just an 'EasyButton' check here, I could be totally off base... Most good psych services require a full medical work up to rule out physical causes (or find contributing causes) before diagnosing or treating. Is this what they're asking for? Complete physical and clean bill of health from your GP? If so, that's not as normal as it should be (it's supposed to be standard procedure, but isn't), but it's a good thing. Don't wanna spend 2 years in treatment for depression & an eating disorder when, come to find, your thyroid levels are off and correcting the hormonal imbalance immediate cures both the "depression" & the "eating disorder". Because neither existed in the first place. They weren't psych issues, they were medical issues.

If so? It's not a psychiatric evaluation that they're looking for (by your GP or anyone else), but a medical evaluation. Like @scout86, they'd "just" want a clean bill of health following a complete physical (exam, labwork, etc.).

 

[anonymous]

I think you should seriously look into a residential treatment program that treats PTSD. It will give you a firm foundation for healing and will also help solve the "no therapist" problem....at least for right now.

I think its pretty shitty of therapists to simply say "sorry, I have no room" and that is that. I had a therapist do that to me and when I inquired about possibly getting on a waiting list, I never heard back. Well, screw her and her incredible unprofessionalism! I thought it was a bunch of crap that she was advertising her services on psychologytoday.com but wasn't taking on patients. (I've run into more than one therapist who has done this.) I understand that its a directory and directories are a bit different, but C'MON, its not that hard to add to your blurb "sorry, I am not currently taking on new patients."

 

[Fadeaway]

@Toranoko I am in the U.S. and I have Medicare. I am on SSI for PTSD

Yes I have a great Dr. for medical issues.. He just won't touch psychiatric issues. Up until 9 months ago I was seeing a psychiatrist in another state. I had a full medical work up fairly recently. My tsh 4 was fine, my t3 a little low. I could probably take more magnesium.

The problem is that it is every single one within 20 miles. But I am pretty sure it is this entire state. There is a real small selection for a city of millions there are 3 centers, the university, which isn't allowed to provide advice, just listen, and then a small hand full of religious therapists.

To clear up any possible confusion. I have been diagnosed in another state. I did a psych eval PTSD and possible avoidance disorder. I had another one done a few years later with the ink blots and a multiple choice scantron thing. Plus a few mini phyc evals, so yeah, I have my diagnosis and a semi clean bill of health.

Not being able to get help though is creating a high level of constant fear.I have had a bad two days with off and on flashbacks focused on the fact that I was unable to get help as a child.

 

[icare2]

a lot of it comes down to money... the more you can pay, the more you can get access to. I long ago concluded that only rich people can afford to have mental problems.

but the system really is overwhelmed, need really is greater than supply. they aren't just rejecting you for the heck of it.

All psychs are not created equal... some are just inherently bad, a few are even outright frauds, but with others it's just a mismatch between their abilities and personality versus your needs. so keep trying different ones, and don't assume that they are all equal in their ability to help you.

I have been to quite a few different psychs, and most of them were not helpful, sad but true. It was not so very long ago that MDs relied on leaches and blood-letting to cure what ails ya. But MDs have advanced considerably since those early days of quackery, although still have a great deal of room for further improvement. But mental health is not as far along that progression curve as the medics are. My experience has been that Freudian psych is worthless, at least for me and my needs, IMHO it certainly does not help with PTSD. Thankfully the main stream has progressed considerably from it's origins, and there are now much better approaches, one size does not fit all problems. but not everybody is up to date on the newer approaches, there is huge variance in the field.

keep in mind that quite a few people who are now psychs, got interested in the field because they were seeking answers to their own problems. some of them become good at helping others because of their background, but others are terrible at helping others because they have not resolved their own issues yet.

I finally did find someone who is making a huge difference, they really are helping me and our personalities mesh well. But sadly it took me a year of repeatedly applying and waiting, to finally get in to see them.

Often it is very very hard for people like us to actually ask for the help that we need. The fact that we have to jump through all of these hoops just makes it nearly impossible. I gave up looking several times, but then I would see that nothing was changing, my life wasn't getting any better, so then I would try again. at the end of the day it is about persistence.

there are some people who do counseling on the internet. One psych, I've seen an advertisement for, does video chat sessions on the computer. not sure if this would be too radical for your insurance to cover, but he is a licensed counselor. sorry, didn't save the ad, don't recall the name, but he has a channel on youtube, try searching for 'ptsd counselor'.

yes, things are in a sad state. yes, more help ought to be available. but the reality is that there are a zillion different needs all competing for the same small pot of public money. and people with psych problems are easier to ignore because they are less likely to vote, and also because society loves to blame the victim. so there is not a lot of interest in helping the people who really need it. if you are up to it, try writing a letter to your state legislators, just to make them aware of how great the need is. It won't result directly in help for you, but it will encourage them to consider increasing the slice of the mental health services pie a bit, which will help all of us.

An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure. paying for psych visits is cheaper than ER visits. many people with mental problems, instead of getting the help that they need, end up in jail instead.... and society does not seem to care. but it's because they are ignorant of the issues. Most homeless people have mental problems. most mental problems are the result of child abuse or neglect. But society just views homeless people as lazy bums not deserving of any help. Partly this is because of indifference towards others, but a lot of it is just ignorance.

and partly it is the result of various religious views and the lack of good parenting education and support.