I Don't Know What To Do?

[Philippa]

I will say that I am really thinking of you at this time and even if you just need to get you thoughts out I can listen:hug:.:hug:Lots of hugs your way.

Thankyou so much. I really appreciate that. Need comfort. :)[DOUBLEPOST=1400148652,1400148483][/DOUBLEPOST]

You're not. Think of the victims. If he is guilty then your silence would have betrayed the two women.

I know. It's more that voice in my head of what HE would perceive me as if he knew I told the cops where he lives and his name. I know I have a greater obligation to the community and to women.

Sorry to say, but your comments about him (drugs, highly inappropriate requests :eek:) make me think he is a candidate for this type of act.

Yes, it doesn't look too positive, does it. :([DOUBLEPOST=1400148725][/DOUBLEPOST]Thanks to everyone who helped me with this. I've had two close friends give me some comforting words and help grounding, so I'm feeling much better and not so upset. Whatever happens now is up to the police to deal with. Whoever did do this I hope they are caught and held accountable in the most appropriate way.

 

[Philippa]

It's a weird thing, to have that protective instinct wired into your brain whilst at the same time, not have any contact with the person and know that in reality they are all strangers to me...just people I once shared a home with and played with as kids.

I'm the eldest of three kids and he was my youngest brother. I always looked out for him and protected him. He turned around and slapped me in the face by telling me I basically didn't care about him when he was hurt, even though I would run my little heart out to get help when it happened, and did everything I could to try and earn his trust, so he would speak to me about what happened to him as a kid.

I know something happened, and I know my father was involved in some way. He knew a high profile, very wealthy paedophile and would hang out with him and even went to visit him in prison when he got caught finally...but never told the police what he was up to the entire time he knew him, which was 30 years! He DEFENDED him and blamed the kids for 'liking it enough to accept the gifts he gave them'.

My little brother would be a total asshole to me, then tell me he loves me and would always love me no matter what I did in my life...which is what family are supposed to say and mean. It's the inconsistency that always messed with my head. My whole family did this. Nice one minute, emotionally negating and abusive the next. Inconsistency was what I grew up with.

 

[Pencil]

Inconsistency was what I grew up with.

I am so familiar with this!

 

[Philippa]

I can deal with friends having bad days and acting like jerks sometimes. I think we are all capable of being assholes now and then, but when it is consistently back and forth like that, one minute nice and the next messing with my mind, then I will not tolerate it.

 

[KP the nut]

I had this voice telling me I'm a traitor...but if it was him then he needs to be caught and held accountable

If he is guilty then your silence would have betrayed the two women.

@Philippa I thank you for your courage in coming forward. My daughter was physically attacked a few weeks ago. Her attacker has not been caught. We have made numerous appeals for his capture, someone must know who he is. If your brother turns out to be guilty, you will have given those women some sort of closure and maybe have saved others.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with KP. Good for you. I shut my dads day care down with the help of the Ombudsman program. He was an abuser and really bad person all around.

I can identify with what you are going through.

I think the traitor thing is survivals guilt.

My youngest brother beat his wife and I tried to get her to go to the police but she would not. He showed up at my house and I told him if he came in peace It would be ok, but if not I would call the police. He hated me for that and broke off contact from me.

Good for you again. I wish you the best in this situation.

I can relate to the shock you may be feeling right now. Eire.

 

[Fadeaway]

I don't have any advice, Anything I would have to say has already been mentioned. I just want to offer my support.

 

[Philippa]

@Philippa I thank you for your courage in coming forward. My daughter was physically attacked a few weeks ago. Her attacker has not been caught. We have made numerous appeals for his capture, someone must know who he is. If your brother turns out to be guilty, you will have given those women some sort of closure and maybe have saved others.

I'm sorry to hear this. Hope your daughter is doing better now. Did she get a good physical description of the guy? The police compiled image was so real looking, I took one look and was almost 90% sure it was him.[DOUBLEPOST=1400209004,1400208842][/DOUBLEPOST]

I agree with KP. Good for you. I shut my dads day care down with the help of the Ombudsman program. He was an abuser and really bad person all around.

Nice one.

I think the traitor thing is survivals guilt.

Well, I know that something happened to him, and I'm his big sister, and felt a sense of responsability for not protecting him, even though I know rationally I had no idea anything was even happening to be able to at the time. It may be survivors guilt, not sure? I'll speak to my therapist when I see her and see what she says. Thankyou for your kind words.

 

[KP the nut]

Hope your daughter is doing better now. Did she get a good physical description of the guy?

Yes she is thank you. Physically apart from slight loss of feeling by her cheekbone. Emotionally, well you know. NHS here said she would have to wait 9 months for a counsellor so we are paying for her a private therapist. She is lucky sde also has a good support of friends as well as family.

She didn't get a good description, the police have some DNA but not enough without a suspect.

 

[Philippa]

. NHS here said she would have to wait 9 months for a counsellor so we are paying for her a private therapist. She is lucky sde also has a good support of friends as well as family.

Gosh, that's an outrageous amount of time to wait. Is there a shortage of counsellors where you live? Yes, very lucky to have friends and family to support her. I remember it made things all the harder to not have any friends when I went through it, and my family weren't exactly emotionally supportive, so it's a big deal to have that.

She didn't get a good description, the police have some DNA but not enough without a suspect.

I hope someone comes forward.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I am so angry that I'm at the point of tears and anger. I know that people here at work want me gone because I went Whistleblower status on a lot of things going on. Then I get an email from the office manager talking down to me like I'm some a-hole and then well, someome who I thought I liked ended up being a narcissist. Boy, I sure can pick things, can't I? But you know, all I can do is just try to smile and move forward even though I want to flee and run away. Tears are just running down my eyes because I can't deal with this abuse anymore here at work. I can't quit because I can't afford to. It's like I'm beginning to really just hate peoples' intentions, peoples' nastiness and narcissism...I want to scream but I can't. I want to run outside and just scream my lungs out. I can't eat, all I do is sleep, my ankle isn't getting much better and my knee hurts from the osteoarthritis. Maybe I should just grab my best friend from CA and we do a Thelma and Louise sans the gun...just go.
Maybe we should just go.

 

[Philippa]

Hi Ladyghosthunter,

It sounds like you are having a bad time. Sorry to hear you are upset, however, what you are venting here doesn't seem to be related to the subject of this thread. Perhaps you may want to start a vent thread of your own?