I Don't Know Where To Put This So

[Gs172003]

When I'm doing well, I have no problem with it.

When I'm doing badly? Bwaaaaahahahaha. :roflmao: Admit...

Hahaha that was great.

I can't say it period. Not to anybody. I hate myself for it and it makes me mad like I'm just trying to get attention. I'm the kind of person that doesn't want help with being physically sick much less anything else. Ugh

 

[Deleted member 541]

Doesn't bother me at all. In fact when I was finally diagnosed after 30 yrs of having this shit and not knowing what was going on, I felt a HUGE relief. I had flashbacks anxiety, suicide ideation and many attempts during that 30yrs and just thought I was crazy, because of the shit going on in my head. Diagnosis was just a relief and a name to put to what was going on, once that happened, I worked hard to fix me. I still slip up bad sometimes, but for the most part I'm good.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'll just put this here.

Anybody else hate even SAYING they have this.. Thing? It makes me feel guilty...

Yes, isn't it horrendous that we have to feel guilty because we are suffering?

Had a major PTSD reaction yesterday and it blew me away because the PTSD situation had nothing to do with the reality around me. It really showed me how the people that I had asked for help actually abused me further. It was a learning experience.

I later felt ashamed as well, but not for long because I understand where it came from. Any PTSD patient can only survive if they can communicate with others that have a true understanding of such challenges. Anyone else could never do that.

 

[Gs172003]

Doesn't bother me at all. In fact when I was finally diagnosed after 30 yrs of having this shit and not...

I'm glad I know what's going on but.. Hate admitting it. Does that make sense?

 

[Friday]

@Freedomfighter I thing 'survive' might be pushing things a tad. I was exceptionally lucky that my particular brand of crazy was just normal for the places I was and people I was with, in the beginning. But the next many many years -until coming here- I was very much on my own. Certainly survived :P Its certainly easier being around people who get what's up, but it's not impossible the other way.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Zoogal Yes, I understand that. I would bet that people have 100 different reasons for not revealing that they have PTSD. I respect their wishes and needs for keeping it to themselves too.

 

[Gs172003]

@Freedomfighter I thing 'survive' might be pushing things a tad. I was exceptionally...

I have been surviving. Thriving? Not so much

 

[Chitoshi]

Depending where I am, I can't shut up about it.

And I am an introvert.

But that's me, the m...

This is all me right here. Although I think one of my defense mechanisms is to be super outgoing and vocal about things, and sometimes it really extends to things that I feel like I shouldn't have said or shared later, like that I have PTSD. I hate typing it out, I hate saying it out loud, and I still struggle with it. I'm terrified that people are going to try and either over-protect me or attack me for it. I've had both. So I'd rather just not say I have it at all or when I have a reaction I find somewhere where no one is going to see if I'm not around people who know or feel uncomfortable with it. It's all a jumble. I have major worries about what people think of me as well, so it's a "please protect me from yourself" and "I need to protect myself from you" struggle with me.

 

[eloc]

I find it helps knowing the theories behind how it happens and the biological impact on your systems that cause us to behave in a certain way which is a lot of endicrinology .I just read about whether the world is how humans perceive it and the answer was definitely not - so we are perceiving danger more but others perceive the world differently as well. I think we are all on a spectrum of mental health and on it at different points at didifferent points in our lives . I am very open about it because a) pretending I am ok will not help me b) making people aware of mental illhealth and its impacts reduces stigma and may help others. What I struggle with is people thinking you are OK because you are in this moment and they don't know how much you have simplified your life just to be OK in this moment - something you never had to think about before PTSD or whatever you are having to manage.