I Don't Really Know What To Say

[HurleyGirl916]

Hey everyone,

I've never done anything like this before. But I thought that maybe I could benefit from it because I am a sufferer of PTSD. Well, so I've been told by doctors. I am 21 years old and was living a great life up until a year and a half ago. What happened is that I was heading to pismo beach and going down the freeway. Then a car cut me off and I rolled my car eight times and I flew 42 ft out the window. I broke the right side of my body, and my pelvis, had stitches and road rash across my face and staples down my scalp. I was in the hospital for five weeks and spent months learning how to walk again. Throughout that year I had my boyfriend of 2 years leave me because he said "I was too difficult to deal with", I had to quit my job because of all the doctors and therapy appointments, I failed school for three semesters, had my grandma die, got addicted to painkillers and ended up in rehab. Then as I thought as I was getting my life back together my ex comes back in my life. We ended up hanging out and he took me to this house and tried to sleep with me and when I told him no he became really aggressive and forced it anyways. I just have a hard time trying to figure out why he would do that to me while I'm balling my eyes out telling him to stop. I have flashbacks all the time and panic attacks and any time when I'm not in control I get really bad anxiety and it scares me. I hate being out of control and I'm not sure if this is due to PTSD? I hate talking about it all and how it has hurt me because I feel like I should be stronger than this and stop whining about it. I'm even getting anxiety talking about it now and it makes me want to cry. I just want this constant scared feeling to go away....

Well, hope I didn't sound too pathetic and I'm interested in talking to people who can relate to dealing with this.

-Sarah

 

[Clydiechick]

Welcome to the forum. You are in good company here and lots of us can relate to your symptoms.

Take care
Clydie

 

[growingpains]

Welcome, and I agree with Clydiechick that people can and do relate. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your traumas. You are strong, and you are not whining, you are explaining with logic and facts. Whining (in my opinion) is when you complain about something without really doing anything about it...you sound more like a survivor. Take care!

 

[cherryblossom]

Welcome to the forum Sarah. You don't sound pathetic at all. You are in the right place to learn more about PTSD and the horrible symptoms that we are all too familiar with. Yes - I can relate to your issues with flashbacks, anxiety and lack of control. All PTSD symptoms, I'm affraid.

You have made it this far - you are a survivor. Take your time here on the forum. Have a good read around the forum, and continue to post. The more you learn and understand about PTSD, the greater chance you have of finding ways to cope, ways to manage your symptoms and continue to grow.

All the best,
CB

 

[tryintobreathe]

Sarah,

Welcome to the forum. This is a great place with a lot of information and tons of support. I understand about the anxiety and the scared feeling. I have a feeling all of us can relate to that. You are not alone.

Jen

 

[kriskats]

Hello Sarah,

You are not alone, your symptoms are real. Read the posts and forms and feel welcomed by those that understand and comprehend what you are going through.

Jennifer