I Don't Want To...

[Still Standing]

I don't want to hurt anymore. Tired of pain. :grumpy:

 

[TruthSeeker]

Socks.

Socks are evil, and the expectation they match both in height and color? Utter nonsense. :sneaky:...

Socks matching? What a waste of time-I am happy with 2 socks of a similar color.....I wear high tops...so only I know...
So many things before had to be "right." Now, things just need to work-feet be warm-shoes be comfy. Life is much easier this way.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Feel isolated, having no friends.

I have had to put family on back burner. That hurt. Trust is a major issue...and telling PTSD stuff to people I know just won't cut it. It is lonely and isolating....and I've concluded it is part of the process...but it has gotten better.
I also make lists, focus on accomplishing things in the moment, and actually plan fun get-togethers (poker,music, lunch) that are within my control and not too complex. Trying to work on belonging to me, focus on healing myself, and figuring out what it is I enjoy doing and do more fun things with people who make me feel safe.. helps.

 

[ladee]

There has to be a Sock Narnia somewhere !!!

 

[EveHarrington]

Wake up early

 

[TruthSeeker]

I have had to put family on back burner. That hurt. Trust is a major issue...and telling PTSD stuff to...

I signed up for drawing lessons (really enjoy it and I can bring the class home and practice alone) and I joined a nature photography club (scary and intimidating-but awesome when I go) to meet people with same/similar interests. I have a phone and have many social opportunities scheduled in Outlook, and I revise it weekly, but Outlook helps me get out of the house and do things with people on a more regular basis because it is "planned" in black and white. If I didn't get reminders hours ahead, I'd get out a lot less....I'd just conveniently forget........
Because not following through or bailing on people has been a life norm. Its hard to be consistent because the way I feel changes so rapidly but I'm trying to turn that around.

 

[anonymous]

Sit awake all night long again, struggling to imagine and believe that there will be better times.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Sit awake all night long again, struggling to imagine and believe that there will be better times.[/Q...

Sounds very lonely. But you aren't...alone I mean. I have those nights but I can happily share that they are much less than before. Much more manageable and don't last as long. On a bad night,. I do the deep hot bath, dinner in the tub, with a candle and/or music, hot tea or hot chocolate in a hot bathroom, take magnesium and melatonin, and either play video games to relax and or do TV. I rarely watch TV.....and it is sci fi or humor. if I do. Something far fetched. I also draw, play an instrument, journal, or doing something to make a product-I go on pizza making binges...from the crust to the toppings....cooking is always rewarding, and I freeze a lot of food to reheat!. Doing something productive will give you an alternate focus....Hope you are feeling better soon.

 

[Rani G2]

Entertain12 People today. Dome of them intellectuls... urghhh I have no academical background. Urghhhhh gonna get through sonehow

 

[Teasel]

Stay stuck.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Okay...you are here... that is something! Better then computer off!

 

[Teasel]

Go for the additional walk I am about to take