I Feel Like My Life Is Just Passing By And I'm Not A Part Of It

[Leisel]

Does that make sense? Like, I get to school in the morning, and think something about how the day will be over as soon as I know it so I don't have to stress about it. Then the next thing I know, it's the end and school is over. If I try, I can remember some things, but usually just small bits and pieces, and if someone asks me how my day was or what I did or if there was homework, I have no idea. Even if someone says something that upsets me, I just think "it'll be over soon" and don't feel anything after that. Does that make sense? So, the problem I have with this is that I feel like my life is just passing by and I'm not a part of it. Like for most people, time is a ruler with 12 inches, but for me, someone cut out the inches in the middle and glued together the lines marked 3 and 7. Like half the day doesn't even exist for me. And it's okay, I guess, but I don't want to lose half my life to it and I don't know what to do about it.
Does anyone else ever feel like that? Do you know anything that could help?

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, are you familiar with grounding tools? They can help keep you anchored to the present moment so that you don't lose time.

 

[Sideways]

I have a lot of trouble keeping track of the days. People ask me what I did yesterday and I have to refer back to my diary, and even then I don't necessarily remember - I just tell them whatever my diary says I did.

I'm finding that grounding and mindfulness are helping a lot with this - relearning how to be present. Unfortunately they're both techniques that take time and practice to really master.

For me, I think that there's a couple of major reasons why life floats by without me noticing or remembering (apart from my DID). First, I have depression, and it's part and parcel with depressive episodes. Second, probably tied up with the depression and the therapy I do (which is fairly intense) - switching off is a really gentle way for my brain to cope with extreme thoughts and emotions. If my brain was constantly switched on and having to deal with those thoughts & emotions 24/7, I'd be an absolute basket case (as opposed to the partial basket case that I am at the moment!).

Try and remember to do things that make you feel connected to the world, things that bring you a sense of comfort or relief. And go easy on yourself - whatever the reason, you're aware that this is happening, which is a huge first step to getting back to being part of your own life:)

 

[Mycotoxin]

I hear you. I often feel like a zombie. Just going through the motions of each day. It's getting pretty bad. I have mold illness and Lyme. And they cause ptsd type symptoms, very unpleasant.

 

[Gadgie]

Yea! I get days like that, where I just seem to drift through the day, but can't remember what I did all day?

I also loose track of days, I find myself being a day behind without realising it.

Like I went to pay my usual gas/electric payments on what I thought was Saturday, I got a shock when I found out it was Sunday?

Where do the days go?

 

[Bipfroggit]

This happens to me. I sit in my rocking chair near the window and rock and listen to music and watch cars go by mostly every day. People tell me i am too young to not be going out and being with friends and being "happy". It makes me feel like my life is going by and im just sitting doing nothing when i should be going out looking for a job or learning to drive. I hate being stuck in my house all the time watching the days of my youth go by feeling numb. When i had sleeping schedule problems, the middle of the night would be scary because it would be all quiet and still and i would feel like stuck in a frozen world and im the only one alive o.o Sometimes i dissociate but mostly i just sit and stare and when i stare out of windows it is hard to look away. Im sorry if this didn't help...