I feel like my problems are invalid and i'm a wimp, how to become a functioning member of society?

[Mopand]

ok sorry about the confusing title, but I really didn't know what to put. I'm new to all this and recently got all my counseling services taken away cuz I was deemed "better" and graduated my high school. i just really need advice on certain things and need to vent so here I go. About two years ago I was discharged from a pyschiatric facility that I was in for over a year. I was there because I couldn't deal with my trauma or so my therapist says. The thing is, I don't really feel like my trauma is valid. When I was 9 older classmates forcebly touched me in a bathroom stall and made me come back everyday for a month or they said I would get in trouble. Then when I was 12 I started getting severely bullied and followed home and beaten and cursed out everday. I never had any friends and the ones I did have left me or emotionally abused me because I was weak and didn't know how to communicate. My problems continued throughout middle and high school and my parents never validated my feelings. One day my dad convinced me to kill myself so I swallowed a bunch of pills but immediately regretted it and told him but he refused to take me to the hospital so I called 911. After that I developed a drinking problem and starting doing recreational drugs to cope. My parents were on and off all my life and constantly were fighting and my dad was cheating the whole time. I feel like such an idiot cuz people have had much worse lives then me and here i am acting all destroyed. My dad and mom were never supportive and just recently I was raped. I was doing so well. I am working now and in nursing school with my tuition fully paid for And I was HAPPY!! BUTTT THIS HAPPENED. I was raped. Long story short. A guy I really trusted and cared about raped me. I was still a virgin and had told him that and my past. My most recent psychiatric suggested I had ptsd from all this and I just don't know anymore. I feel like I am a wimp who can't handle life. What should I do? How long did it take for you to be a functioning member of society again? How do I start focusing on studying again and work.

 

[blueangel371115]

Well, you're taking the right first step. I can't tell you how long it will take to feel 'normal' or 'functional' again. Some it takes years. Not what you want to hear, I know. Try some way to continue your therapy. See if you are eligible for some that covers therapy. You also may have to step away from family a bit until you learn to cope and understand how you are feeling better. Easier said than done, trust me but it might help. But you aren't a wimp. You are strong, seeking help and reaching out to others. You are brave. Remember that. You're brave, strong and worth it. Your trauma is valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You went through things no one should have to.