I Feel So Selfish

[Sick of Fear]

Those are very good points! I will still try to help. After all, it's hard to find people in real life to even remotely relate to, so if I could at least offer that, it's better than nothing I suppose. :)

 

[Jlso111187]

I know others who have been raped as well in real life but talking to them is just so hard. I can talk on here easier than I can to people in person. Do any of you guys have that?

 

[Sick of Fear]

People that I know in person that have been raped are family members, and when they talk about it, I listen, but still feel uncomfortable talking about my experience to them. Mainly because they were very quick to cast judgement upon me when I opened up to them. I feel safe opening up on here now because of the multitude of compassion and support given.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I feel safe opening up on here now because of the multitude of compassion and support given.

That is what is so wonderful about this forum.

 

[Core]

Do any of you guys have that?

For me, writing about it is much easier than talking. Also I don't want to trigger others, and I'm scared I'd do that if I talked to the rape victims I know about my rapes.

 

[Jlso111187]

My sister opened up and told her all the things in detail what my uncle did to her but I cant Im still not at the point where I could tell my story like that on here or to another person. Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I can talk about the fact that I was raped and my feelings but details or it I dont know if I will ever be able to talk about.

 

[Sick of Fear]

It is extremely difficult to talk about. With the exception of my diary on here and people in positions of authority or mental health professionals, I can count on one hand the number of people I've trusted enough to open up about my experience.

For me, the parts that make it most difficult are the memories and feelings that get stirred back up, and the fear of the listener's reaction. I can thank my mother for the latter of the two.

You will get there when you're ready to be.

 

[Whitneys story]

Good job! When you are ready is key. Processing the emotions and invalidation of what you have been through is also key.

You are allowed your voice here. We do not judge you because of actions of others. I dare your mother to come here and speak.

We're pretty protective and she would be spotted and have the door shut in her face. JMHO! It hurts to realize a mother can be our worst enemy!

Many of us have been there. Let your feelings out, you are among friends. :hug: Whitney

 

[Sick of Fear]

I do know about cake though, and when the experts figure out that cake is a cure, I'm so there! ;)

:laugh: thank you from one cake enthusiast to another!

 

[Sick of Fear]

I dare your mother to come here and speak! It hurts to realize a mother can be our worst enemy!

So true! Thank you, she would just spew out a bunch if excuses and whip out her violin that plays the "single mom of four kids" tune among many others...

The only reason I get along with her now is because I'm tired of fighting with her, so I keep my mouth shut. She's in denial, and sadly, probably always will be.