I find it hard to read other's posts...

[Still Standing]

because I empathize so strongly with them. They upset me deeply. So, at the moment, I have not been able to benefit from them or their responses. And being new to this site, I am not sure where to post since I fit into many categories of PTSD. Since, in counseling, we are are working on staying grounded and not to dissociate, I figured this forum was best for the moment.

With the loneliness of the holidays here, and having been triggered badly recently, I am struggling with the feelings of wanting to collapse into a puddle or running away (where, who knows?), and those of continuing living as if everything is normal. It is sorta feeling like walking a tightrope between two personalities. My self is in the here and now but another part of me is in a different world. Does this make sense? And though it sounds childish, I feel a bit lost knowing that it will be two weeks before another counseling session. There is a bit of unease, knowing I am on my own. I will enter back into 'hiding' and act as if nothing is wrong. I will be everyone's friend and entertain and be social. When those expectations are over I will hide in my house and deflate for days, recovering from the emotional energy it takes to live in the real world. Within in all this, I am to be practicing grounding techniques. Getting one's mind in order is hard.

 

[Deleted member 541]

One of the things with this site..... It’s pretty much exposure therapy. That’s why they don’t use TRIGGER WARNINGS. It pretty much triggers people when they read someone’s post, after repeated times it sort of desensitize you. I suggest that you start a trauma diary and start writing. It really does help!!!!!!

Welcome to the forum.

 

[digger]

Reading Forum Increases Symptoms! <<might be a useful read

 

[Still Standing]

I think I am a chicken. I didn't realize that what is written on this forum is meant to trigger. It seems masochistic, in a way, to choose to read these posts, knowing that they will elicit painful reactions. I understand the logic here, but the thought of more emotional upset makes me want to step back and walk away...well make that, run away! It is much like opening the closet door, knowing that the boogey man is behind it and in order to get to a safe place, I have to walk past him! It is a scary prospect. But, scary or not, I will try to read and try to face the upset. It would be nice to get to a place where my mental state evens out and is not impacted by triggering events.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

If it is not for you at this time then keep yourself safe by staying away. There is so much good support to be had at such a difficult time of the year. Maybe you could try posting another thread where you place your needs and instructions in for support on an issue you are struggling with. I would hate to see you miss out on all of the good and healthy support here just because you are unable at this time to read others entries.

 

[Deleted member 541]

The only way to get better with PTSD... Is to go through it. You can’t go around it, you can’t medicate yourself to not feel or think. You can ignore it. Eventually it all comes back and then you’re forced to face the boogeyman again and again...

So while it’s painful to rip your trauma apart inch by inch, memory by memory, it’s the only way to get better. @Rain is correct though, if now isn’t right for you, then by all means don’t. Eventually the time will be right.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I tend to hang in the social arena of the forum(s) more so than the other scenes. It's the most therapeutic arena for my needs, currently.

Some days I feel more drawn to reach out and connect, perhaps offer things I've learned from my experiences, learn more about/from the experiences of others, learn more about various therapeutic techniques, etc.

But other days, I simply need a mind escape from my own thoughts in the moment/of the past, and luckily, the internet allows things to be just a click away, which can be both a blessing and a curse.

 

[Still Standing]

Thanks for the suggestions. It is confusing to know which forum to post in since I have difficulty in so many areas. And this is all "new"... Guess I will simply snoop around the forums and get used to what they have to offer. I will look into the social forum, too. Thanks.

 

[EveHarrington]

Just stick to the areas you feel most comfortable. I definitely have forums (categories) that I avoid. Hugs.

 

[Freida]

I didn't realize that what is written on this forum is meant to trigger. It

I don't think it is meant to trigger. I think it is just that people feel so comfortable sharing they are more open than they would be in another venue. ( or maybe that's just me!)

I had some of the same reactions when I first started so I just kind of poker around the first few months. If I pulled up something that seemed uncomfortable I just close it and move on. And there's lots to look at! Baby steps!

 

[Still Standing]

Yes, I am realizing that baby steps are a good idea. I just wish one large step would take care of things, though! I appreciate the responses given here.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, I am realizing that baby steps are a good idea. I just wish one large step would take care...

Oh.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Seriously, no.

You do not want one giant step to take care of.....anything.....when it comes to healing.

You risk system overload.

System overload can range from a shut down that lasts a few days (at best), to weeks, months, or even longer.

And even if you don’t go into system shutdown, you could be catching a ride on the roller coaster from hell.

So yeah, baby steps are usually IME best.